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Long distance relationship: Need advice how to move on

User Profile: Kw777
Kw777 August 3rd, 2016

Well, about a week ago, my long distance girlfriend of about nearly two years had broken up with me. We have been frienda for 4 years, texting each other every single day. I thought we would be in each other's lives forever, but that changed pretty quick. Over the past 6 months, she gave me the ultimatum that if I did not move down there, she would break up with me. At first I loved the idea of being with her more, since we only been together physically for a span of 4 weeks from all the visits. I missed her and during college, it felt really lonely. I told my parents but not about the ultimatum. They told me all of the costs and if I was unable to get into a college, since they are the ones signing for loans. All of those bills would put me in a big predicament. Each time we talked between my family and I, there would be arguments. And then there would be argumen's between me and my now ex. She gave me a date to be there by and soon I told my family about the ultimatum near the date. I told her it felt controlling and wrong what she did and she broke up with me on the spot. I promised her I'd be there and I understand I did lie. She didn't block me right away, but posted a ton about being single and how she has no time for liars in her life. She even posted how much she loved being single. Her mom talked to me but got angry that I had a different opinion than her and said "good luck being alone or divorced 20 times because you're a liar." Now I'm blocked.

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User Profile: Phthalo
Phthalo August 4th, 2016

She does sound quite controlling. It's one thing to have goals and desires, but it's another to set deadlines, not have patience or trust, etc. It's supposed to be about a growth of both people, not a rigid script decided by one person. And now that her family is being kinda aggressive it may be best to just move on.

And as for the "have fun being divorced 20 times" kinda thing...if anything, that would be her, since she sounds quite rigid and unwilling to face life's setbacks or anything.

Idk

2 replies
User Profile: Kw777
Kw777 OP August 4th, 2016

@Phthalo It is difficult. At one point I forgive her but another it's like with her medical issues right now it's just hard to up and leave when shes in the hospital right now. Plus I still love her but I didn't want it to be controlling either.

User Profile: Kw777
Kw777 OP August 4th, 2016

@Phthalo I've also been having that hope that she will change but I don't know. My family have told me that not many people change. I didn't imagine that it'd end over this at all..

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