Marriage ending
In a few days I will be asking my spouse for a divorce. We have been on the rocks for a very long time and are currently in counseling, so this will not be a total shock to him. But he keeps expressing a hope for our future together that is frankly shocking to me, given what we go through. I am feeling relief at approaching the end of this marriage but strong nervousness as well, because of the upcoming emotional scene and life upheaval. I wouldn't mind just sleeping through this and waking when it's over.
@gentleEast8898
I am so proud of you! I wish that I could be as brave and bold as you are. I understand entirely. I dream so much of being alone, but I don't dream of the transition.
You are doing great work, and sometime soon you can breathe safely in your own space. I understand entirely and I am happy for you. Thank you for inspiring.
@mathetmess That is so helpful to hear right now; I can't thank you enough for the kind words! As far as what you shared about your own situation, I do sincerely hope that in time you will find yourself where you want to be, looking at an incredibly bright future. Warm wishes to you as you move forward.
@gentleEast8898
I am so happy to hear that I can be helpful. You deserve it. Congratulations. You are right to celebrate.
@gentleEast8898 i understand i am so sorry it didn't work out
@sallymae3459 Thank you for your kind words.
@gentleEast8898
You are doing something I only dream of being strong enough to do. You are so brave, I dream of being free, but I can't bring myself to take that step.
@charmingSpruce6325 My heart goes out to you; maybe one day you will find yourself in a different situation and able to build separate lives. I hope that life will bring you both to the point at which, if that is what's best, that will be possible.
There is no easy way to end a marriage when someone still hopes. There is always pain expressed, anger involved, begging, nagging and drama. However, it's all for the best. You sound like your decision is well-thought and rationnal, so you will be strong. Trust yourself. Trust that he will get over it. Make sure that you are safe at first if he does get angry. Try to limit contacts as much as you can from the moment the decision is announced. Do not lead him on.
@carambole It went relatively smoothly and we have now begun the process of splitting. You were absolutely right - it's important to trust oneself and what needs to be done. Many thanks.
That’s what I’m scared of. He talked about a future but I don’t see one if we don’t fix any of this. But I’m scared to tell him and him getting bitter and angry and trying to make my life a living hell! You are brave! Hope everything worked out for you. And you might be going through the process now. More power to you!
@medina22 It is never easy to break a heart, that's for sure. And no matter how the one ending things feels, there was a time when you really wanted that person, so there are still feelings inside to work through. I wish you all the courage, hope and joy that you need as you look toward a brighter future. All my best to you as you find what is right for you.
I’ve thought about it too. Growing apart is unavoidable in my opinion. Especially when kids are involved. I haven’t acted on it yet because I know it would devastate her
@massiveHemlock You're so right - it's difficult in so many ways and especially in the sense that once you say it, it can't be taken back. No matter what direction things take, the other person knows you really don't want to be with them anymore. It's a hard road and not one to rush into but when it's time to walk it, it's time. Maybe that day will come for you, maybe not. But I wish you hope and peace in the meantime and a way to find joy and support that sustains you. You're not alone.