Married and out of love

@tragickitty

You are not a bad person at all, it is only human to seek that peak of firy dedicated love, when nothing else matters around you and the classic butterflies and the rush of endorphines and abandonement...many people just live for that in life so you doing it once I think it is only normal from a human point of view (I don't care much about ethics).

That doesn't change the values and all the respect and strong frindly bond that you have with your husband, it is just another type of living together among people...

For example I have nothing and noone and I envy the tranquil peaceful relationship that you have with your spouse...

My own wife left me because that love spark was gone abd she fell in love with another man yet I never hold a grudge since I understood perfectly the way she felt and I let her go to find happyness...

My opinion is to go ahead and let yourself float on tje waves of your affair and forget about the guilty feelings...there is plenty of time for those...life is short and we only live once...

@tragickitty

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

im 27, been with my partner for 7 years and married for 1 year. I feel like I have fallen out of love with him. (This is a sign things happened slowly over time, so both sides ignored the relationship wasn't working)

I no longer have a feeling of intimacy or desire towards him. Our life together has become very boring, everyday we work then eat in silence and then watch tv or on our devices and dont speak, (It does sounds like you are both not connecting and bonding, so the connection between the two of you started to fade. This does mean that one or both sides stopped investing in the marriage. The routine you two have became predictable, so it made the marriage be less excited) ) even if we do attend an event together or travel it all feels not exciting and I dont feel happy. (One thing to really think about is whats making stay in the marriage if you are not feeling happy)

He hasnt done anything wrong, hes only been good to me. (Im sure he is a good person, but theres a high chance he stopped doing the lovely and sweet things he used to do in the beginning, his behavior might have turn you off and there's a chance you don't feel connected. What I mentioned will slowly make you lose feelings for him) Looking at us from an unbiased view most people would say were a good couple and we have everything we could ever want. (The only thing missing is the connection, bonding and the dating) We live a luxury life for our age and have been blessed with our good careers and education.

As I reflect more and more about my situation I realize that our passion/chemistry/spark was never very bright to begin with.. (This is an indication you felt attraction for him, but it wasn't that high to begin with. There's a chance you might have settle with him for certain reasons) hes the kind of guy who is everything youd want in a boyfriend except the sex appeal... hes kind, caring, funny, smart but I am not attracted to him in a sexual way and I dont remember ever being in that ‘honeymoon stage where you have a lot of sex in the beginning etc lol it never happened like that. Its never been steamy. (I understand, from the look of it things didn't start out well. I have seen how some men often project their own level of interest into women, when the women doesn't have much of an interest in them, but perhaps wanting to settle down due to society or other similar situations leads to go along with things)

Now I find myself caring for him as a family member or best friend rather than a partner...

which leads me to part 2, I am having an affair with a coworker.. (This is a sign you might feel good with the coworker, but at the same time you don't want to feel alone if things don't work out with this person. I feel like both sides ignored the fact that things have not been working out for awhile, but decided to stay to not be alone)

can anyone shed some light? (I think that in your case you are looking to feel loved and gain external validation from this new person because its something you didn't receive with your husband. We all have our choices whether is right or wrong, but what was missing here is the proper communication and honesty) Some advice? Also try not to just focus on the fact I am a bad person aka the affair.. because I already know I am disgusting and awful. (You are not disgusting or awful, the cheating happened, but it doesn't make you an awful person. The marriage you have with your husband is something that will continue to make you feel unhappy and disconnected, so the need to feel loved will push you to do certain things. Is it worth keeping your marriage when its making you feel so unhappy?)