My 10 year relationship has ended.

@BeeHappy23

Hey there, hopefully you are doing. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My ex has always been the social butterfly type and this was all good for me as we were young and we didn't have kids. 7 years down the track we had my daughter. We always fought over anything but he would come home. (The fact there were fights and arguments leads me to believe that you two probably have separated issues you each were dealing with, when its like this both people trigger each other issues constantly in arguments). Then there were times where he would run away to his mums which in turn became a ha The mum doesn't really care if he's at her place as she loves to have her kids on lockdown as she cannot drive and needs financial support from them. She doesnt even tell him to go home. In one of our fights he went to his mums house and went to a brothel and didnt go ahead of it because he said he loves me and was angry. (This is starting to sound strange, he went to a brothel but didn't go inside? thats kinda hard to believe, but the way he was angry sounds to me like he is not able to communicate properly, instead he leaves and then who knows when things will get solved). Then another fight he went on an online dating site and dated a chick from a month only to find out she was fake. (This person is starting to sound like he doesn't have intengrity, he probably started dating behind your back which isn't fair to the relationship. When things get rough, or theres arguments it seems like he begins to look for other women). This was hard on me as we hadn't mum first daughter together. We always fight over small things and it every time we fight he talk so to girls. never gets solved on the spot. (This is definetly were you and him have separate issues and insecurities, so putting two people together will cause both side to trigger one another which then the arguments becomes unhealthy and never get solved. There's was also problems in the communication part, I'm starting to think that he probably got annoyed or mad when you tried to communicate and solve things, which probably made you get angry and mad at him for not listening). Now we have another child this year who is 4 on this and one time when I checked his phone history he was on a hooker site.(When I hear that a partner is checking another partners phone it leads me to believe that there's zero trust in the relationship. In here I could tell you have zero trust in him, also there could be some sort of anxiety that lead you to check the phone for certainty, to see if he was talking or with other women because he had done it in the past. This person definetly starts looking for other women when they are fights, probably to feel loved and wanted, but it shows he doesn't have intengrity and loyalty. He should have left the relationship first). He didn't take action but it makes you wonder if he is loyal because everytime we fight he runs way and talk s to girls girls online when we have a fight. (It comes to a point where you probably thought "I'm so tired of this, he has done this so many times to me, its to the point where I'm thinking if he is being loyal?". its hard to sleep with both eye closed when he is doing this, its very disrespectful to you and the relationship). He promised he wouldn't do This to me. We fight over small things like when I "nag" to tell him to keep the room clean and I never liked his family to begin with they're so demanding. (He probably is an irritable person, and gets annoyed because in this ocassion its as if he comesback to when he was a child, so its actually triggering things from the past with how his mom was, so it makes him lose emotional self control. He has a lot of unresolved issues which is affecting the relationship). I think he doesn't need like me saying these things anyways he told me he moved on. I wanted him to stay here and help me with the kids and he said he would and he didn't. (You got to really think about this, you want him to stay and help you with the kids but he didn't want to...that shows like he is not willing to put an effort. This arguments you two have will affect the kids, they will feel like the relationship you two have is normal, then they will seek and stay in those relationships. The kids needs to see you two being sweet, loving, affectionate torwards one another if not they won't learn what love is. You also got to think that he is very devious and doesn't have intengrity). We talked two days later he asked for his clothes and i told him I told my father how he goes to brothel and a hooker site. My dad was fuming and I think that's why my ex hasn't no come to collect his things. I still love him I even texted him every day but I can tell always be the one trying to fix things and chase him. (He goes to brothels, probably dated other women behind your back, doesn't communicate with you, doesn't work on solving things, always fighting and then you chase after him? that tells him that is okay the way he treats you and the things he does. You chasing and texting him also makes him not change for you, you are enabling his behavior by going after him. You should only contact him when he has earned that gift, so far he has only earn the gift of missing you). I changed my SIM card on the phone because everytime we talk or text just end up fighting. (You two shouldn't be together). I'm sick of the girl always making him happy ans myself miserable he was always drinking and hardly home and smoking weed. (Its good that you tried to make him happy, but what about your happiness? what about your needs and wants?, you should watch people actions as you try making them happy, you got to check if they are putting investment in the relationship as well) His life has being going downhill he even stole some timber from his job to payback the guy that gave him free weed. (He is starting to develop addictive patterns here). He has a bad temper when he is drunk and there a bottle at the police station. I think these are all red flags I still love him but I don't want to tell him that (Theres way too many red flags to be with him) and I have been doing the NO Contact rule as it only makes matters worst for me. (This tells me you are mostly doing the NO Contact in hopes he comes back and not to fully heal and hopefully moving forward with this) His mums house has fleas and dust mites so he won't be seeing the kids and he reckons when they get rid of them that the kids will go there but I won't let that happen. The last time we had a fight I caught him talking to another girl he never used to do this when he had no smartphone and wen we had no kids. (You may love and miss him, but this person will always talk to other women behind your back, this is how he solves things, its impossible to have something loving and healthy with him). I don't know how to move on but I still miss him and I told him I loved him but I've stopped now I've cut all contact. This has been going in circles our relationship has been going on and off for three years now. (A relationship will always be on and off when two people have separate issues going on, they will breakup then comeback so it enters a unhealthy cycle). He plays mind games with me or tells me lies so I can't r ally trust him and he's not really responsible lucky I am living with my parents. (I don't think he is playing games, the thing is that you love him and want to be with him even though he has these red flags. A lot of people struggle with leaving a relationship, they don't want to be alone, and other issues, but you do deserve a man far better than this. They are better men out of there, he is not a person who is emotionally ready and available to be on a relationship). He drank about 4 cans with my daughter in the car and him driving so I worry and his mum stays inside the house while my daughter isn outside with his 7 year old niece when she goes over there house. (He is now a danger to your daughter....drinking while driving is dangerous...)I decide to cut all ties what do people think?