My Boyfriend Want to Break-up
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, I’m 22 and he’s 20. Throughout the 4 years we’ve had our ups and downs but we came to the conclusion that we can work on things. For the last 5 months it’s been great, we’ve been communicating more, we fully trust each other and I can see our future looking bright.
He’s an electrician and has been for the time we’ve been together, I’ve been at university and I’m currently in my final year.
My exams have been in this last week so I’ve been stressing out a lot, but he gives me a lot of support and reassurance that they will be good. Since it’s the beginning of the year he’s been focusing on his eating, going to the gym etc. He has been getting a little agitated with himself as his body isn’t used to this big change. I support him as much as I can, I buy him things for the gym, get things he needs for work, meal preps etc.
Since we’ve both had a hard few weeks, we have been bickering more than usual as we’re both in abit of a mood with our personal lives. For example, I was running late to a family dinner last week and we had a bit of a bicker about how I’m always late and I shouldn’t have put my makeup on. We ended up getting there on time and we spoke in the car on the way there. The rest of the day it was like nothing happened. That’s what our “bickering” is like.
He told me yesterday that the arguing over the last week has been getting him down, he wants to be alone and break up.
I didn’t see it as arguing, more of just being agitated. I knew this spell wouldn’t last long as my exams are completed and I’m looking forward to graduating.
We have so many things to look forward to this year, my birthday is in a few days, his is soon too, we’ve booked to go to Amsterdam, we’re going to a lodge for the weekend in April with all my family, I’ll be graduating, we was going to book a holiday for when I graduate too. We’ve spoke about me moving in and things are looking up for us. I honestly just thought that this past week was just abit of a hiccup because of the added stress and how he feels himself about changing his lifestyle for the better.
I really don’t know what to do as I love him with all my heart, he’s been there for me through the hardest times and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with anyone other than him.
I know we’re young, but you can’t help who you love.
Im hoping he comes round and want to stay together, but one minute he doesn’t want to be with me at all, the next he “want to have a think about it”.
I hate the “not knowing” about it and im struggling alot with it.
Any advice would be great
@moody18 Your bickering does sound minor, but maybe it’s minor only from your perspective. Maybe he is “making concessions” in these arguments just to get over and out of the argument. Can you review the late for family dinner episode and think about how you responded to him after he said you’re always late? Was there anything in your response that would have perhaps disregarded his thoughts or feelings in some way? If you identified something in your response to that incident, is it maybe present in the other bickering incidents as well?
Thank you so much for the advice.
This was the day before my exam so I woke up, had breakfast and set about revising. He went to the gym and said I needed to be ready for 3pm. I had everything I needed to get ready so I gave myself 30 mins to be ready. 15 mins for abit of makeup, 10 mins to fix my hair and 5 to get changed.
I got in the shower about 2:15pm and started to get ready, when I opened my makeup bag I realised I didn’t have any of my makeup brushes, so I started applying some “everyday” makeup (concealer, brow gel, bronzer and blush) with my fingers. It took me longer than I expected and I was running late. I told him I would be late but I didn’t know I didn’t have all my things to apply my makeup.
I told him I had been revising and I forgot some things and he told me how I’m always late, I said that I was sorry but I didn’t want to leave the house without any makeup on (I’m a little self conscious of my skin). He said he’d wait downstairs and so we went, setting off 5 minutes later than intended. We got there on time and I said that we was fine for time anyways and it wasn’t worth the arguing about. He then told me how that wasn’t the point and I should’ve been ready at 3 like we agreed. I was quite after then because I felt guilty about revising for my exams, even though they come first, and he knows that too.
@moody18 So you told him it was not worth arguing about. And he said that was not the point, that you should have kept the agreement on when you would be ready.
