My ex is a cheater.
So I found out after the break up that my ex has a husband and also a child. She had a new born baby too while being in a rs with me, pretending to be single. I didn't know this because we were in a ldr. She didn't let me follow most of her social medias, would make a new separate account for me to follow. She refused to facetime, videocall, or even call me. Once she called me and I heard a child call her "mom" I did ask her about it but she gaslighted me and tried to fight with me so I let it slide. I'm still studying so I don't have money and throughout our rs she would express not having enough money to "eat" or pay for "gas" and I would pity her so much to the point I would want to wire her money but we live in different countries and I don't have resources. But that isn't the worst yet. The worst is she's a lying, manipulative, and narcissistic ***. She is extremely toxic and would always accuse me of lying and cheating. Fighting with me for no reason until I cry to sleep or I would lay awake at night for hours unable to sleep. My depression got worse to the point I wanted to end my life. I started failing my exams and drinking. Once she found out I was no longer of use and I started to spot her mask slip off, she dumped me cruelly, right before my exams paper. Now she's talking about not being able to move on and not being okay without me. Because she doesn't have someone to trauma dump, fight with, and abuse. She's the devil. I don't want anything to do with her and I am more than disgusted I once tolerated this kind of person. There's many times she forced and manipulated me to sending her explicit pictures and audios which I didn't consent to. She cared about nothing else except her own well being and sexual needs. She's a terrible and a monster. I wish no one would be in this kind of rs and if they are, please run away because it *** with your self esteem and life more than it should. Thank you for hearing me out.
Also, she once did use self harm to guilt trip me to force me into doing things I didn't want to (she lied about it) because she was losing the argument. This is disgustingly crazy toxic behaviour.
Sorry you went through all that.. it really is eye-opening to think there’s people in the world that can do such things and somehow think that’s OK to just use and abuse people.
But there’s definitely a lesson in there too. That was a LOT of red flags .. If we know people can’t just be trusted to treat each other decently, then we have to get better at looking out for ourselves, being better judges of character. A lot of the times we are blinded by our own desperate need to be loved, our need to feel wanted and special, our fears of loneliness and rejection. It leads us to choosing the wrong people sometimes, or staying in terrible relationships because we are scared that’s all we “deserve”. So we ignore all their flaws and allow them to trample all over us. No one deserves abuse and mistreatment in a relationship, but so often it creeps into our lives because we leave the door open, we leave ourselves vulnerable to it by neglecting our own needs. I always liked this quote ..”We don’t always get the relationships we deserve; but we usually end up with the relationships we settle for!”
I hope your next partner will treat you better! But you decide who stays in your life. You decide what relationship you deserve; you decide what you will settle for! We have a heart to love; and a brain so that we can love with wisdom 😂
CatsInTheCradle
@considerateTurtle5368
it is a sad reality that there are so many users out there ..... IMO it is what gives long distance relationships such a bad name and shadow over people who meet that way....
She was probably playing with your emotions while you were useful and sent funds.... i really hope there is karma for all those who do this and some do this for a living
Yeah and she tried to reach me somewhere she thought I'd see her. Hoovering method.