My husband wants to separate but I love him deeply and dont want to lose him.

@limegreenTurtle182

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My husband and I have been together for 18years (married almost 3). We have been each others best friend for that time, until recently when he connected with a group of people at work. A few months ago I found out he had developed a connection with a female from the social group that was conversing with online daily. (This is a red flag right here. I can see that perhaps they were some issues in the relationship, but instead of talking about it with you he decided to get closer to another woman behind your back. His actions are communicating to me he lacks honesty and integrity) When I expressed my unease about the situation, he reaction was to say they were only friends but then to hide the fact the connection continued. (I can tell he is using defensiveness, and minimizing how you felt. He is telling you what you want to hear on order to stop the conversation. He lacks communication and empathy) This made the situation worse when I found out. He then realised that the connection was pulling him away from our relationship so he pulled back on that one (but did not let go completely). (He only realized this because he got caught) Since then, she has been cold towards me and the social group will not accept partners.

This is where my current situation starts. Tonight is my husband's work Christmas party and his social planned an after party for a select few to attend. Originally, my husband had invited me, but then uninvited me. (This doesn's sound good because you should be the priority, and not where he is not inviting because of what would happen. He is saying what you want to hear, but is not willing to go through with it) Saying he didn't want to deal with any uncomfortable situations. (Its their fault for this) That hurt. (Its completly understandable how you feel, it must had made you feel excluded and as if he prefered them) As a result we have had some heavy conversations in last couple of days. Last night was the worst and it ended with my husband saying he wants to separate. That he doesn't know if he ever loved me.

I feel frozen in fear. Like my heart is about to be ripped out. I don't have anyone to turn to for help. I don't want to give up on our marriage. (Its normal how you feel, it really hurt what he said. Its understandable you don't want to give up on your marriage, but look at how he has been showing up. He started getting closer to another woman without thinking how this would make you feel, and even excluded you. His behavior and actions communicate to me that he is not making you feel important, as a priority and loved)

@limegreenTurtle182

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My husband and I have been together for 18years (married almost 3). We have been each others best friend for that time, until recently when he connected with a group of people at work. A few months ago I found out he had developed a connection with a female from the social group that was conversing with online daily. (This is a red flag right here. I can see that perhaps they were some issues in the relationship, but instead of talking about it with you he decided to get closer to another woman behind your back. His actions are communicating to me he lacks honesty and integrity) When I expressed my unease about the situation, he reaction was to say they were only friends but then to hide the fact the connection continued. (I can tell he is using defensiveness, and minimizing how you felt. He is telling you what you want to hear on order to stop the conversation. He lacks communication and empathy) This made the situation worse when I found out. He then realised that the connection was pulling him away from our relationship so he pulled back on that one (but did not let go completely). (He only realized this because he got caught) Since then, she has been cold towards me and the social group will not accept partners.

This is where my current situation starts. Tonight is my husband's work Christmas party and his social planned an after party for a select few to attend. Originally, my husband had invited me, but then uninvited me. (This doesn's sound good because you should be the priority, and not where he is not inviting because of what would happen. He is saying what you want to hear, but is not willing to go through with it) Saying he didn't want to deal with any uncomfortable situations. (Its their fault for this) That hurt. (Its completly understandable how you feel, it must had made you feel excluded and as if he prefered them) As a result we have had some heavy conversations in last couple of days. Last night was the worst and it ended with my husband saying he wants to separate. That he doesn't know if he ever loved me.

I feel frozen in fear. Like my heart is about to be ripped out. I don't have anyone to turn to for help. I don't want to give up on our marriage. (Its normal how you feel, it really hurt what he said. Its understandable you don't want to give up on your marriage, but look at how he has been showing up. He started getting closer to another woman without thinking how this would make you feel, and even excluded you. His behavior and actions communicate to me that he is not making you feel important, as a priority and loved)