On Surviving Breakups
Ending any relationship - platonic or romantic - is one of the most difficult things that a person can do. Oftentimes relinquishing the relationship also means letting go of a potential future with the person you're leaving. Breakups are even harder if you have unresolved feelings regarding the person. But they are survivable, even in the direst seeming circumstances.
If you need immediate support, you can connect to a listener. You can also peruse our guide on surviving breakups (https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/ ). This offers helpful tips for accepting and managing the emotions that come along with a breakup, and subsequently how to resolve and work through them.
You can also seek support on these forums, where you can talk to listeners like me or other members going through the same thing. I'm happy to talk to anybody about their experiences and to offer whatever support I can. :) You all deserve to be happy and healthy.
It takes a while, but it certainly is attainable to get over someone who broke your heart.
Your post is so true. Reading this is helping me deal with the break up I'm dealing with from my boyfriend now 3 years...
Hi I am also a listener and I was recently rejected by someone who I thought was a friend. The full dumping game seemed to start right after Christmas of last year when they started to demand things from me. It was not in a very grateful manner either.
After that they started getting an attitude with me and putting on a front as if things were okay. This was by making excuses and ignoring me.
I knew they had lost their interest in me but I was trying to see if I did anything wrong. I finally sent an e-mail and got a reply that we just were not compatible for each other.
This was after they told me that they loved me like a sister too. The last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions.
i knoe the feelings of being rejected. i was rejected couple of years back and it took me almost 2 years to get over it.
when now i think of it i feel such an idiot i was at that time. why did i made myself feel so low after it.
now i feel no one has right to reject anyone or even say things to others
I find the part about letting go of an envisioned future so true, besides the obvious fact that you miss your ex and love them. It's hard, because I thought we would get married and have a home, just our little safe haven together, and I was already anticipating that in the next few years. I still haven't let that go. Now my future is a giant question mark; I had something to look forward to, and then it was taken away.
I'm going through a break-up myself after a 4 year relationship. I tend to beat myself up. I have constant feelings of guilt about myself and actions. To me, I am the one that blew it, especially since she was so perfect. We make plans with that person and when their feelings change or want to move on, it can be devastating. You have that terrible feeling of "being alone." You can't imagine that person with another, because you had that close connection with that person.
And it's hard to move on. It's not that easy after so much. It's important to figure out why the relationship soured or why their feelings changed. There is usually a deeper rooted problem that was never addressed about yourself or how you communicate with one another. Trust and support with the other person is very important. It's important that you can express your feelings and concerns with them.
It's important to not dwell too much on the past or the negative feelings that these thoughts bring. Try to seek support through understanding friends or family. Sometimes, this can be difficult. It's difficult for me - I have always withdrawn because my friends weren't the most supportive. But, not everyone is like that.
Try to distract yourself through positive activities, which can replace those negative feelings with positive ones. These activities emphasize the present moment, in which you don't dwell on the past. Seek happiness.
We often forget that we do move on and find happiness elsewhere. Remember that you're a good person and you will find love again. Those negative feelings will be gone. Start now.
Wow, John, I must say, that was reallyy helpful! and so motivational, thanks for sharing :)
Going through one myself andfeeling really devastated and lonely..but your words surely helped John...
Very we'll said John I'm dealing with a loss. It's so hard :-(
Breakups can certainly be traumatic, but remember that we all lose pieces of our heart, as we continue our journey. We give them to special people along the way. But, for whatever the reasons, most of them don't stick around. Finding the right person will occur when someone comes into your life with the ability to give you enough of their heart to make yours whole once again. It happens every day. That person might be closer than you think. We cannot see what is just around the corner...
Do you really ever forget someone that you truly loved? Someone that you had the best time if your life with ? Someone that you thought you would be with forever? I'm still so lost :-(
Hi Nicole. To be honest, I don't think you ever truly forget anyone who you felt so strongly for. The experiences you had with that person will have shaped you in some way, and you will always have those memories and feelings of love. People like that are nearly impossible to forget about in my experience.
You may not ever forget them, but you can come to terms with the situation, accept what happened, and move on from it in a positive way. And with time, a lot of distractions,some supportive people in your life, or a combination or all three,you will get there.
There was someone I was in love with probably 6 years ago. It took a really long time for me to be able to think of him without crying, ir wanting to cry. I still think of him sometimes now, but it doesn't bring me all the pain and heartache to do so. I've never forgotten him, but I don't think about him in the same way I used to.The pain is gone, but he will always be a part of me.
PM me if you want to talk more.
I'm going through the exact same thing. Please pm me so we could talk.
