Questions for a broken heart

@StillWaters3120

Hi beautiful... first off, I am so sorry you are going through this. I totally understand how you feel as I have been through the same. I understand you might feel confused/in a dilemma and questioning yourself whether you did/said something or pushed him away or some sort. I feel like he is in a place in his life where he needs to figure out his path in terms of career-wise. I've come to learn that men handle this differently from us. he might feel like you might be a distraction towards his path, or might also feel like he does not want to burden you with what he is going through; and men tend to want to silently fight their own battles. I need you to understand that YOU DID/SAID NOTHING WRONG. Then, i would really urge you to GIVE HIM SPACE. let him take all the time he needs to figure his path out. Now i don't mean to completely ignore him. check him from time to time, casually, let him understand that you have not abondoned him and that you've got his back. please be patient with him. Once he's done figuring out his path, he will acknowledge the fact that he has one beautiful sul that never left his side during his difficult time even though he seemed like he was subtly pushing you way. Please be patient with him okay? I hope this will help in one way or another :)

@StillWaters3120

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few days I would like to point out;

And every time he mentioned not being in our current state he made comments like "Well you could go too", or "Let's run away." (This was indirect communication, he actually wanted you to actually come, but at the same time didn't want to be too straight forward because of certain fears) So I thought our future was looking good. We would make plans to do things and places to to in the future. We were exclusive and had been dating for about eight months. We never said "I love you" to each other, I knew he cared for me and could have gotten to that place. (This is a red flag right here. You two have been exclusive without sharing i love you's, it seems like things never got into a certain stage)I felt like at least I was definitely there. (I do feel he wasn't at that point for some reason) I thought I had found someone special, and thought that he was "The one."

Our conversation revolved around his stress at work and how he needed to get out of this profession. This would mean he would leave in about eight months due to his contract. He felt it would be easier to talk about it now rather than later, because if we split up now it wouldn't be as difficult as it would later on. I told him that I'm at a place where if he asked I would go. (I understand why you would say this, you seem to feel a lot of feelings for him. I do think this was too fast to say without things hitting on a stage where it was a proper relationship and where you two shared i love you's to one another. This feels like he was a bit too guarded in terms of how he felt about you) He didn't want to put me in that position. Yet when I asked where he saw this going he said "I don't know," and didn't seem to clearly communicate what he wanted. (You seem to know what you want, however he is on a place where he doesn't know what he want. You were put a tough spot here because 8 months of dating, and he can't answered where things are going...) I asked if he ever saw us getting married and he nodded. (I see this is what you wanted all this time, however based on what you shared it told me he was not at this point, so it will scare him. Its just feels like he always put at a certain distance without letting you get too close) He felt like he had to figure this all out and that I was sort of distracting him from his future. (That was quite rude to say. He is putting more priority to his future than what you two have. This tells me that he is the type of man who will always choose his career or future over a relationship, so he will not put any priority to a relationship)

There were no red flags and it didn't seem like he was distancing himself. (There was some level of distance between the two of because you two didn't say "i love you" in the whole time you were together. One or both sides didn't want a certain level of closeness) He was just as emotional as I was about our conversation. He held me, we cried, and he kissed me goodbye. When I asked if there were any open possibilities he said maybe. (He lacks assertiveness in saying "no", so he is keeping things vague)

What did I do? (I can tell you were great to him, however it does seem like he is too guarded in terms of feelings/emotions) What DO I do? (Your self-respect and self-value are more important than what you had with him.)This was all two weeks ago and I stuck to my guns about the "No Contact" rule, (You are high value, its great you are sticking to not contact him after he prioritize his future than what you two have. His future and you should have been priority, but he started to distance himself and choosing his future) but I'm dying to reach out to him. (I understand you love him, and its very scary being away from him, but reaching out will only make him take you for granted and then everything will be on his terms) I still care for him, and am genuinely worried about how he's handling the stress of work. (Its normal you feel worried about him, but its important to put yourself first above him. The thoughts and worries will be there, but remember he made a decision, so you reaching out will only reinforce that decision. You have value, don't give it away to a guy who never said "i love you", didn't prioritize what you two had and didnt know what he wanted)

With time and space, do we have a chance?? (I don't think thats the right question to ask. The important question to ask yourself is "Is this man worth dating again after the way he left?", "Is he going to be to handle a proper relationship?". Its understandable you are wondering if time will help, but take a closer at what you two had, didn't it feel like it had tons of barrier in the middle?)