Recently broke up with girlfriend
I've broken up with her before but this is truly the end. It hurts me very badly and I'm extremely sad at the moment but I know that this is all a phase that I'll be in so to speak. The main reason for the breakup was finances. Also, we had intimacy issues, there was no intimacy which stemmed from finances.
I've kept a stable job for several years and I've been paying all the bills and all the financial burden of everything falls on me. Including her car repairs. She continuously job hopped from job to job and was never worried about paying bills. Every time I brought up the fact that she should be paying half it turned into a heated discussion and she would make the statement (Make more pay more). But for the entirety of the 7 years that we have been together, she has only paid the monthly rent about three or four times. I seriously cannot handle the inconsistency.
I don't think you need money to be happy, however I do think in a relationship it should be 50/50. When I broke up with her it sealed the deal, she threw things all over the house, put holes in the wall. Stuff got way too crazy so I called the cops which I regret doing. Upon the cops arrival she immediately started saying that I hit her and that I'm an abuser to try and get me arrested. I've never hit her in my life. We do horse around occasionally but there's never an intent of harm. However, I spent the night in a hotel because she had no place to go and I didn't want the situation to get any worse.
I question why someone would go to the great lengths to discredit someone they've been with for 7 years. I feel like it was all one big lie. I was just a golden goose paying all the bills while they sat at home lining their pockets just enough so they didn't have to work at all.
In reality, I should have broken up a long time ago, I was abused as a child and there was an argument and I can remember where she basically threw it in my face. Anytime we get into an argument, she makes digs at me saying that I might be gay because of the lack of sex in the relationship or that I'm a eunuch. Offensive either way.
I've been doing a lot of crying but it will pass, the toxicity is too much, there's a whole lot more that went on. I'm no angel, but to type out everything that happened in 7 years would be a novel. This was the last straw though.
@Anthonym0089 Hi Anthony. I wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear that your relationship has been going through some rough patches. A lot of the things you mentioned, no one deserves to go through that and I am sorry you had to deal with that. You said you two have broken up before but this time is different... this time it is over for real. If that is truly the case, I wish you healing. You have every right to feel the way you do, cry about it if you like, hurt, grieve, etc. All your feelings are valid. 7 years is a long time to be in a relationship with a person and it seems you felt like your relationship was one sided year after year. That must have been hard. I know you said you believe relationships should be equally 50/50 but I just wanted to share something with you. Sometimes in relationships people are unequally yoked and the weight of the burden falls more on one party than it does on another. So that is why sometimes one can be doing 70% while the other does 30%. It doesn't matter if it is 20/80, 40/60, 10/90. Whatever it is, it all adds up to 100% and for a relationship to work it requires two people wanting to make it work. I can see why mostly all the bill paying and financials falling on you could seem unfair and take a strain on you. Many relationships do not make it because of money issues or intimacy issues and I see why there is a correlation with one to the next. It seems you have tried to be and do the best you can given your history with her and still, that does not excuse the abuse she inflicted upon you. You can only try and do your part and change you. We can't make people who don't want to change, well, change. That is tough but I applaud you for manning up even after the problems in the relationship. I hope you are able to heal and move forward to a new chapter in life, a happier one. Not all females are like that and one day you may find the right one. Until then, take care.
I do understand that all relationships are not 50/50. But in this case it was not two people wanting to make it work. I was a solo. I wasn't just the thought either, actions speak louder than words. There were times where she could have afforded to pay rent but lied out of greed. I do hope I find someone though, I'm not looking currently but in due time.
@Anthonym0089 Ohhhh my, so sorry to hear that. You did not deserve that. I hope she is able to come to the realization of the wrong of her ways for her sake in the future. Take care of yourself, Anthony.
Hi Anthony,
Take care of yourself. You definitely deserve some time healing and focusing on you for once in 7 years! Change is hard, but from what you have described what you went through in your relationship, this change is for the better. Relationships thrive because it’s a partnership. I have a healthy marriage of 15 years, after being in a relationship for 8 years. In the 23 years we have been together, we have been through ups and downs, but have keys worked through them with unconditional love, trust, faith, and partnership. My wife would never throw something traumatic from my past in my face, nor I to her. That is cruel. I am so sorry that was something you felt you had to deal with. Now you do not have to anymore. Please take care of yourself Anthony. We are all here to support you!