Regret breaking up with her immediately
Been dating this girl about 3 months. Everything was perfect, even managed to get feelings for her, usually takes like 6 months to get to that point! Anyway, on a night out, she asked my friend, who she'd met like 30 seconds beforehand, if she could sit on his lap, as the barman told her to sit down and there were no seats available. I found out a week later, calmly brought it up to her, and she explained it was nothing weird, and meant nothing by it, she was just interested in meeting my friends and didn't want to leave their table. That she doesn't see gender and will sit on anyone's lap if she's comfortable with them, but she won't do it anymore. She was very drunk that night, lapse of judgement maybe, but i believe her when she said she didn't mean anything by it. But i get distant, as I'm worried she leads men on, knowingly or not, while drunk. But i visit her to talk about it and see she left open a conversation with het friend (she met through a friend of mine on discord a month earlier). They have been going for walks/food together, playing video games and watching anime virtually. She told me its just platonic, she's met his girlfriend on discord and they do this stuff like once a week. She talks about how worried she is about how distant i was at the time, when they go out together. I said that im ok with it, now i know the context. We spend an amazing day together, then a few days later i decide that no, I'm not ok with any of this. I break up with her over text. And remove her from all platforms, to not see her name everywhere. Then it comes to light that she actually REALLY liked me, saw us being in a relationship, eventually. But she blocked me. She was amazing, other than this stuff, and tbh I could have looked past the difference in boundaries if I'd have calmed down more and thought about it rationally. Our mutual friend told me she's hurting deeply. Ive broke things off with girls before and never felt this much regret. It's been a day since the breakup messaged her, saying I'd like to apologise/explain for cutting her off so abruptly, but i understand if she doesn't want to talk. And no reply 😅 she's seems done Any advice for dealing with all this regret? I'm such an idiot
Hello @easyShade4312 , welcome to 7 cups !
Sounds like you're experiencing regret and feeling hurt over an abrupt breakup , given the circumstances , you probably felt it was too much and taking a break would be good , but it is also valid to feel hurt and to not be okay with certain things and wanting more boundaries , you even tried bringing some things that bothered to you calmly with her , I think that was really good... communication does help , specially in relationships, so very great to communicate our feelings .
I understand why you'd abruptly sent her a breakup message and deleted contacts , and how it's affecting you now that you've given a thought to it , and came to know that she really liked you too , and it was probably worth giving a shot at .
How do you feel going about the situation now that you've also sent an apology message and didn't get a reply ?
You're in the situation and perhaps would know better on what to do , knowing how things are , what is good for both of yall ....however , Do you feel maybe just telling her that you alot of things piled up for you and you didn't think much before breaking up , but you do now feel regretful and would like to give things another try ? It does help to apologize sincerely, tell her honestly what did you feel and what made you breakup , what is making you feel sorry, how do you wish things should be ... and then assuring her that she can take her time too .
I hope things get better for yall soon ❤
@easyShade4312 3 months isn't that long but maybe it was for the best that it ended she might be just trying to move on.
Next time, perhaps you'll learn to talk about your problems in relationship calmly and soothe yourself instead of breaking up with a text message. It is not an appropriate way to break up after 3 months. I am sure that you know that she deserved better than this. Personnally, I would also have been annoyed at the fact that she sat on someone's laps at a bar. Also at the fact that she did not listen to your concern. She could have told you: "I am sorry that this offended you. I will be more careful next time." You have learned 3 lessons. It is important to 1) respect your boundaries, 2) find someone who will lusten to your concern and compromise and 3) break up elegantly in person with concern and care because you will crush someone by treating them like trash. Now, you have apologized and its up to her to hear your apologies in person or not. Take care!
