Religion Clash
Hey there and thank you for listening to my little venting session~
First of all, I'm not really religious at all (agnostic) nor am I really a believer but regardless, I met this Muslim man. And I really wasn't expecting to fall in love but oh well. We started dating eventually. I was fine with his religion and I respected it. I tried to learn more about it and partake in some of his activities such as praying.
I asked him about being of different beliefs and he said it was fine, so I believed him. We were already joking about marriage and "planning" our future, you know- how those silly young couples are. Even though I knew it most likely won't work out like that, I still thought we would be together.
A few months into the relationship he tells me that he can't marry me unless I convert to Islam...I don't really want to follow a religion I don't believe in, but I also don't want to lose him. I'm quite frankly conflicted. Apparently, he didn't know this was a law and only found out when researching and learning about it.
This really hurts me because I love him, but being religious isn't really for me...I already decided that if we had ever had kids, I would raise them to be Muslim if he wanted- I know I planned far ahead, but I couldn't help but think about it...
This really hurt and I don't know what to do...I was willing to make sacrifices for him (like raising out kids to be Muslim and following some of the laws like the dietary rules.) but I know there's nothing he will do about it. He firmly believes in his religion and I feel selfish for wanting him to put me first. It's so selfish of me but I can't help it.
@ValkyriePlums sounds complicated i am not sure what i would do in this Situation but hopefully you will fiqure out what to do.
@ValkyriePlums
Since the conditions of the religious ceremony have come as an unpleasant surprise to you both, what about a registered marriage where people of all faith (or no faith) are treated with equal respect?
@ValkyriePlums Finding out about that law only recently, after falling in love, has put you both in a very difficult situation.
I know nothing about Islamic law, so I Googled it, and strangely I cannot find any general law that would mean you have to convert to Islam. You would have the option to marry him as a Christian or a Jew instead. But in certain countries there might be different laws and traditions that I didn't come across. If you search the Internet for Islam interfaith marriage and the country where you plan to live, you can probably find more details.
So it might be useful to establish where he found out about this law, and also exactly what it says and where it applies.
When you write that you know there's nothing he will do about it, and you now feel selfish, I wonder whether that perhaps indicates something about the kind of relationship you might have in future, after you are married, and whether that is the kind of relationship you are seeking in life.
If you'd like to chat about the situation, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me.
Charlie
