Separated but should I get a divorce
Married 6yrs, together 8, have 2 young kids. After years of doing everything in the relationship myself, dealing with mental & emotional abuse, I am now the cheater... But I feel pushed into it. Like had he just listened to the concerns I had & had done something then we wouldn't be here. He has a bunch of childhood trauma & it's like dealing with an undisciplined toddler. Everything is about him nothing is about me. I want to get out but I'm so scared of unforseen consequences. Like what if my children hate me for leaving him or what if I date even worse men? I feel like every option available to me is petrifying & there's uncertainty no matter what decision I make. He wants me to just forget everything he did in the past but my whole being screams, NO. These aren't emotions I know how to handle....
@Fallenrose89
It is a very hard choice and you will second guess yourself many times.
Every option has uncertainty ... what if you stay and your kids resent that? what if you date good men who are a positive role model? ... the questions can go both ways. many only focus on the worst.
i stayed with a person who it is all about him NO matter what ..................he could not even tell you anything about me and my likes/ needs or wants. married a heck of a lot longer then you. At first it seems like give and take and SOMEDAY i will get a turn my needs or wants will be first ... NOPE
Mine never started the "childhood" excuse until i was ready to walk out the door. Do not blame yourself if anyone showed you any interest or paid attention to your thoughts or feelings... i found a friend and it saved my life cause i was ready to end this ... still feel trapped but the time i chat with this person makes me feel i am funny attractive and fun.... all that felt dead before ....
When my grown son had recent relationship problems he told his sister "i certainly do not want to stay and be miserable like mom"
that really hit hard.... if i had a do over i would have left.