Separated not divorced
Hello, I’m really just looking for any form of advice. My partner is from America and lives in the uk now where I live and am from. We met October last year just after he moved. He was recently separated from his wife and they had planned to get divorced. Neither of us really looking for a relationship but we fell deeply. Our connection is definitely something special. My boyfriend and I had started makig plans for our future, we live together we’re going to be moving to America in the new year. Last weekend his wife reached out which I suspected was weird. After a few days she reached out again and told him she wants to try again. He said he doesn’t want to loose me but after all the emotions it stirred up in him, he has to see if anything’s there with them both still. He’s broke up with me and asked me to move out and she is flying here for a week at the beginning of December. They both just want to make sure they’re doing the right thing I guess.
this all took place a week ago, my now ex (I guess) and I have some of the best days though, we’ve been out on hikes together and dinners and just had fun through all the pain.
he keeps saying how much he loves me and agrees we have something good, that he doesn’t want to loose me.
I see the pain in his face and know this is hard for him to.
he said he really doesn’t know what’s going to happen but he just has to do this
@Foxycleo1986
I think you might look at this from a distance...... he was separated and moved to another country met a person and had a great romance........ it is easy to think about a future and building when you are ignoring the details.
if her just reaching out has made him feel he should explore it ............maybe he was not over her.... whatever you know of the relationship was only from his view....... and sounds as if he may have been hurt or angry when forming that view. Did he make her seem like the worst or did he paint a picture of being ready to run back if she called?
Of course people say things like...... "i do not know what i want"...... people love to keep their options open .. to keep you on the hook in case they do not work ........I am sure IF he did know he wants his wife ........ and wants to try with her...........would you feel better if he said " hey great news she called see ya"
His wife is coming over, one.
Two, instead of staying in a hotel or B&B or whatever, she is staying at his place.
Three, he broke up.
Four, he asked you to move out.
He clearly is not over her. How hard it is, if someone so clearly is not ready for you, then it's time to take your losses.
@Foxycleo1986 It sounds like he has already made his decision. Are their kids involved? P.S. I am an American and my girlfriend is British so I kind of have an idea what situation you are in.
No children at all.
no decision seems set right now. Hes apologising still everyday, we still hang out. He complains about things she says. But I guess who knows until she’s actually here 😓
@Foxycleo1986
It is really about do you want to wait around to see which way he goes...
did he tell her about you? does he tell her things about you?
He told her about me yes, as for what is said on the actual calls I am unsure apart from what he tells me. I don’t ask and I don’t particularly want to know too much detail.
But what I do know is that the calls are getting progressivly worse and he says there’s nothing special about them anymore. I see in his face and hear when he talks.
But again I don’t know what’s said when the calls are good or even if they are good.
At this point I’m wondering why they are even going through with it.
@toughTiger6481
I would suggest just ending things as he is just keep u as an option and I think u are worth more then that I would suggest just leaving because I think he just wants u as a safety net and he clearly wants her soo u should move on