Should I give my ex a second chance?
I have split up with my boyfriend for five weeks now. We had been together for 7 months. I left because he seemed like he did not care or love me. I was unhappy with the way he treated me from being emotionally immature and emotionally manipulative. I felt a lack of respect also. He never really wanted to put effort into the relationship and listen to any issues that we had. If he did, he was irritated and the issue was never resolved. I accept that I am not perfect either. But, I would never want to say or do anything to hurt him. I felt like the relationship was one-sided and I had put so much effort into it that I became emotionally drained. At points I grew anxiety, I doubted myself and had one or two depressive moments. After I split up with him I think it finally dawned on him that I was going to be gone forever. He has asked for a second chance and he said that he realised his behaviour was not acceptable. He said that it was never his intention to hurt me or emotionally attack me and he is sorry. He said that he knows he needs to grow and that I am worth it. A part of me wishes to get back with him from the off chance he is actually going to change for the better. But, I am very skeptical if he is actually going to or if it's just going to be temporary and back to the old ways after a while. I don't know if I should risk going back in the off chance he has woken up and wants to and actively is trying to change for the better or just move on?
@SilverPearce
Hey there, its understandable the way you feel about your situation. Is your ex seeing any therapist while doing self improvement as well?
@freshLight64
Hello. I've been going no contact so I do not really know what he has been up to and I have not spoken more to him since he asked as I told him I need time to think. What I think he possibly has been doing is some self reflection.
@SilverPearce
i think you should continue the no contact for a few more weeks and work on yourself , your interests and your goals , without this person as a distraction.
@SilverPearce
He was able to realize a few things, but I don't feel is no where near enough to make it work. I feel concern with the way he was emotionally immature and manipulative, its important to not overlook these behaviors. He lacks the ability to listen and empathize with how you feel, so things will go sideways if he doesn't learn this. He will need a therapist and overcome the issues that stems from his childhood on order to be a good partner. He will tell you "I have realized the things i done to you", but he has zero awareness on an unconscious level of those issues, so there's a high chance he will revert back after he feels comfortable in the relationship. I do suggest investigating more about the reasons you over-invested on him, it will help you in future relationships.
