Should I talk to my friend (ex-girlfriend) about my hurt feelings?
So, I'm going through a break up right now. It happened a couple of weeks ago. She broke up with me, saying that she wasn't emotional prepared for a relationship. She had a lot of emotions and tramua to work through and didn't want me to have to wait for a partner who couldn't give me the affection I needed. (That's the short version of it anyway).
I really didn't want to break up with her, I still loved her dearly, but I had no idea what to say or do. So I let us break up. But we decided to stay friends, which was nice but I'm still very heart broken. It's hard to hang out with her or our friend group becuase, when I do, I usually end up feeling angry, jealous, hurt, and/or sad.
I want to talk to her about this but I'm not sure if it's the smart move to make. I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel guilty. And, most of all, I really don't want to stop being friends. I also wonder what I'd accomplish from talking to her anyway. It's not like she can make me feel less sad.
I also wonder if immediately going back to friends was the smart move. Would some space and distance be better for me?
I dont know, I know strangers on the internet can't give me the perfect solution. But, if anyone has any advice I'd gladly take it.
@Fearlessdragon Sounds like you need time to heal. And being friends with her right now isnt exactly the best move for your own personal healing. I say distance yourself for the time being and just let it be. I know it can be hard to cut those ties but for your own well being sounds like you need to do it sooner rather than later. Best of luck with your journey. I know break ups are hard, and I truly wish you the best. But like I said, right now you come does first and part of that is giving yourself the distance to both mourn your loss and potentially move on. Hope that helps. :)
@Fearlessdragon i would second the notion of not trying to be friends right away. Its extremely difficult to do, especially if you are in love. I was in a similar situation and I can tell you, its very hard to be just friends after being more than that for an extended period. Take some time to yourself to heal. That is not easy either but I am telling you, its the healthiest thing for you and her. Get to know yourself more, spend some time with people outside of your circle. You will soon have a different perspective on all of this.
My ex wanted to continue to be friends after she ended the relationship but I slowly just started to detach myself, although it was painful, it helped me heal. Love is an extremely tricky thing, your heart tells you one thing but stepping back and trying to see the situation from a distance allows you to see the big picture. Good luck and in the end this will all be just a memory.
