There's so much pain, and letting go of her has so many dimensions.
We broke up yesterday after dating for a year and 4 months. My inner self still holds on to the idea that we're going to get back together. I feel pain and can't sleep very well. I keep looking at the fight that catapulted us into this, it was a small argument over lost keys. Something so small set us on that path to leaving each other's lives. I miss her alot. It's hard not to cry when I think about her. I just can't believe she's no longer here. Even though I know there are things that might've complicated our ability to be together. The pain is very real. She's an amazing person and I miss her.
@GettingBetterNow
I hear you brother, break ups are really hard. But its good that you're open about it because talking always helps.
I'm so sorry to hear, cry your heart out! This pain is horrible but it won't last forever I'm proud of you for expressing your hurt and being vulnerable. I hope everything goes well.
@GettingBetterNow
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I always remember that phrase for some reason. I think it also comes from that same feeling of knowing that a mistake was commited. Breakups or being seperated really does make you realize a lot of things. Being open to talk about it leaves room to improving and learning. All that comes after is just up to whats meant to be or what is willing to happen. Don't take one or the other as bad though, we are fortunate to even count with a choice. I hope this helps.
@GettingBetterNow
Do you see all of these responses to your posting? It's because you're not alone. There have been many people who have been in a similar position that you're in right now.
While it's sad that your relationship with her did not work out, for whatever reasons - realized or not, there are always lessons that can be learned about what happened that will help you in your next relationship when that time comes.
Try not to dismiss the golden opportunity to learn valuable lessons from what happened, add in a bit of self-reflection on the things that you could have done better, ways you could have interacted better, ways you could have communicated better, and how you both handled anger or upset emotions. There are takeaways there that can help you grow, and develop better skills so that you are less likely to repeat them in the future.
I know you're in pain, but know that the pain you're currently in is for a very strong purpose. It is to teach you about the hardships of relationships, that there are things that you could have improved upon, and hopefully that in the future you will do and act the ways in which healthy relationships have discovered, which is likely where you'd aspire to find.
Let the pain, the tears, the anguish come and deal with it in healthy ways. It's normal, it's healthy, and yeah it sucks, but it's all for a reason.
There is a saying that it can take up to half the duration of the relationship to FULLY recover from a relationship's end. This means that each day will get better and better, but eventually, you'll be fully recovered and know that it is time for you to find someone new.
I hope you know that if you need a shoulder, someone to talk to, then we're all here. There are many Listeners on here that would have no problem talking to you about what happened. Get those thoughts and feelings OUT, because it will help speed your recovery. Don't dwell, but find ways to get those thoughts out and deal with them constructively.
You may find in time, everything will be ok. I know this doesn't help now, but eventually, you'll look back and realize that while the relationship ended, you grew up a bit and learned things that you can now take forward with knowledge and experience to make things better for your next relationship.
Peace.