Told him I wanted to break up but he wants to go on a break

Two nights ago, I broke up with my SO. It has become really unhealthy, we’ve been fighting a lot. Him and my parents never got along between our relationship a lot. He gave me an ultimatum to stand up to my parents, or he’s leaving. It’s very hard to stand up to my parents sometimes, because when they’re mad, they give me the silent treatment, and sometimes make me feel like I’m the problem. I don’t like feeling like a disappointment. He told me I need to grow a spine and when I do and I call him out on things that he does and how he makes me feel, he gets defensive. It got to a point where he broke things off with me, told me he needed space, and also told me he didn’t want to speak. He made an account on here and looked at my post that I made about him. I know this because he told me, and told me he misspoke when he said he wanted to break things off with me, and that he meant it towards my parents. He said very hurtful things to me, and what he did made me mad, that is something you just don’t misspeak about.

when I broke up with him, I told him that this isn’t healthy anymore and I don’t want to keep putting him in a situation where he feels my parents don’t like him. I care about him a lot and I don’t want to keep putting the stress on him because he doesn’t deserve it, I really do think he deserves a lot better. I told him I wanted to remain friends because I care about him a lot and I love him. He he began telling me that he didn’t want to break up, and that it was my parents that were the main cause of everything, though it is my parents, his parents, me, and him. I am starting to care more about myself and love myself, and I want to do better for myself. I am working on setting more boundaries with my parents. But I also know that he had no right to talk to me that way, even though he said his parents and his brother talk to him that way, so he thought it was ok.

I am his first serious relationship, so I think he really doesn’t know how to act and what comes in a relationship and what you should do. We have different views on what are important in a relationship. When I told him this, he told me that everything I told him about me not leaving was a lie. He called me a liar, he called me a manipulator. I know he was very upset, and I cried on the phone. I didn’t want to break up, but I knew it was better for us both now he keeps trying to convince me to go on a break until I get into grad school. I kept telling him that we were broken up, but he just kept repeating no he wanted to go on a break.

I know he’s hurt. But I do think us just remaining friends and not being anything romantic is better for us but he’s trying to convince me to go on a break until I get into grad school. However, I don’t think anything will change the way he speaks to me when he’s mad in among other things which I’ve written in other posts. We’ve been fighting so much and I’m so tired of it and I’m making myself even more physically sick over it. He just refuses to see my side and just sees me as the bad person. I don’t know what to do.