Too little too late?

@Tom152

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

Me and my girlfriend broke up about 10 months ago, she spent about 6-7 months fighting for us to try again bit I wasn't ready (This tells me she had a lot of anxiety and fear of abandonment. At this point she will more than likely become focus on soothing her anxiety in the way of getting you back, however it would make you feel smoothered or trapped which makes you pull away) and was still battling my own thoughts as well as losing my grandfather right in the middle of it,(Its understandable, losing your granfather was tough, and it got even more difficult when she kept fighting to get the relationship back) so I was pretty much an emotional wreak for at least a month, I needed support from her but every time we would talk it would just be a flood of her emotions and push to get back together, (I see where you are coming from, it's like you wanted her close and to talk with her throughout this tough time, but she was mostly focus on what she wanted which made you not be around her as much. I do feel she becomes self-absorbed when she feels anxiety) in the end we had a pretty big fight and didn't talk for 6-8 weeks wich really was the first bit of space i got. (I can tell you felt smothered by her for a long time) The starting point for it all for me was a pretty big fight between us and her parents. I was living with her at hltheir house and altho it wasn't the first fight I ended up getting involved in it was certainly the biggest. We both moved to my parents but the stress of this was too much for her but I couldn't sympathise because I had put up with it for 3 years prior, so it just cause tension she ended up saying we needed to take a break which I agreed with but didn't realise this would result in her living in my camper trailer in the vacant block next door to my parents. I was still catering for her and never got the space we said we needed so it just caused resent. (Its understandable, i think you were seeking space for awhile because of the way she was coming on strong and often focused on what she wanted. I get the feeling she went through tons of separation anxiety when she didn't talk with you or when the relationship ended, so the anxiety drove her to do/say things to pull you closer her and then she lost empathy for what you wanted because she couldn't soothe her anxiety) During the time we didn't talk I started to think about things a bit differently and more importantly came to recognise what was causing the issues as well as how this had made me behave in the relationship.