Understand what to do with an ex who contact you
My ex and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. The relationship was rocky at times but we managed to communicate and move forward. For a while there has been the talking about moving in, and I always been the one saying I wanted to but I needed to find some more stability in my job first but in few months I would have had some clarity. For a while this was ok, then he started changing his mind and then go back talking about it. He has been living on a boat for some months and just recently he decided to host random people on it. When he communicated this to me I felt so confused and afraid I was just going to get hurt that I broke up. I regretted and the day after I tried to explain to him how I felt but he pushed me away saying it was better this way and we weren't a good match. I severed the contact for my own health, and after 2 weeks he wrote me a letter saying he still loves me and miss me and hope we can come to a place where we can see each other soon. After a couple more weeks he emailed me recommending to go to a trip with his friends because he wasn't going. Then texted me that he thinks about me often and hope I am doing well. Then all in a sudden he posted publicly about a boat trip on FB to invite who ever wants to join. I am not sure what to say, but I am very confused whether he is playing with me or if he is sincere. I don't want to get hurt, but I am ready to move in with him and I don't feel like going back to where we were. What should I do?
@emotionalGrapes8313
It does sound like the two of you are in different places right now as far as where you want the relationship to go. You seem keen to find stability and to feel settled. He seems to want a party lifestyle, and maybe to be more of a free spirit? Do you think that's the case?
That's not to say you'll never want the same things, nor are those differences insurmountable. But you certainly need to understand what each of you want, communicate this, and be prepared to compromise. Question is, if you both want something different, how much are you prepared to compromise to make the relationship work? And be careful not to be the one doing all the compromise - that could cause you to feel insecure and unappreciated.
It sounds like you need to be having some frank and honest communication between the two of you. Because if you can't communicate openly now, you're likely to struggle longer term. I wish you all the very best.
