We were madly in love but broke up because of his family
Myself and the man I was talking to are from a religious background and a conservative country. He promised that he would marry me and that he already told his family about me and he was so happy because they were “supporting him” about our relationship. This was the first relationship of my life, I never really talked to guys before because I am shy and fear of rejection. Over time I became so madly in love with him and he was the same, we were so addicted to eachother that we could not even fall asleep without being on the phone together. He made me feel like the queen of the world and taught me how to love myself, and he helped him with his depression. This week I got a shocking news that actually his family was never aware of me and on Monday he talked to them about me and they were totally against the idea due to racist reasons. In my country there are various ethnic groups under the same nationality and we are from different groups and regions all together, his family said that i’m a bad woman who corrupted him into loving me and that I’m a p****titue. His mom cursed me so much and accused me of things so terrible, all of this because he fell in love with a woman on his own accord. Well then he told me he’s not man enough for me and I deserve someone better because he basically worships his parents and he cannot say no to them, so the day after we broke up he got an arranged marriage so a girl from his family inner circle.
@conscientiousSpring1103
when i read your post i feel for you although in many places they may not understand the bias and issues among groups in other parts of world ......
I re read and he told you early on he had told his family and they were supportive........ in the end that turned out to be untrue ........ do you think it may have been easier if they truly had knowledge early on and the relationship was new?
even in other situations some parents and family do not like the idea of "hey i know i never said anything but here is the person i want to marry"
there are many parents who feel forced to just accept a person into a family and not be able to get to know a partner in a slower process. In most situations you are marrying into a family and starting off on the wrong foot does not go well
Remember also he is going along with their wishes in arranged marriage .....
Even if it was from the beginning they wouldn’t have been supportive. He is from the most conservative part of the country and they only marry from their neighborhood or small communities where everyone knows of eachother. So they rejected me based on not knowing who my family is and their history and also i’m from a different ethnic group so there is racist reasoning as well. His mom is convinced i’m a dirty woman anyway…
@conscientiousSpring1103
the mom not liking the woman in her sons life is universal......
i think you are being easy on him for not being upfront with his family ....
if you get to know someone and see they are NOT whom you thought .......is far better then trying to change a bad opinion. formed by assumptions
people change with experience ...... no matter who they are or where they are from ........
I think that is one of the biggest challenges people face is in labeling others or assuming a persons motivations ... people are most successful in creating change by small steps not and in your face accusing or blaming.
i just came to the realization that our love wasn’t enough enough for him to fight for me.. he equated his mother to God so at that point i just gave up.. i knew it wasn’t worth it. anyway it’s his loss, i’ll move on and i actually am moving on currently. the pain hurts but i’m okay.