dumb in love

I dont understand why someone would pursue me for 8 months and when I ask them to put more effort, they leave because Im changing them. Its frustrating because my love language is someone asking me out on a date, cute small gifts like just a letter would be enough for me and he never understood that because he said for him it was enough to know Im his. We have a history of getting back together because he would leave either he didnt have time or because of a guy friend (who I knew before him) I was determined not to get back with him because I was tired, during the 8 months I told him I was talking to someone new and it surprised me he still wanted to talk to me because hes a very jealous person. Seeing him still chase me after telling him that made me go back and try again. I know people cant change in a short time but I genuinely really believed this time it would be different considering how much time had passed. A day after the break up, he messaged me Bc he assumed I would be at the hospital and we were talking and he wanted to end on good terms, I was but then I decided not to because when I wanted to, he called me a coward for wanting to leave. He said I was a coward for leaving. He made me take the train at night because he didnt want to drive. It was my fault for thinking this was normal and how anyone wouldve done it.