:( i feel so screwed up.
She finally decided to move on and met someone. Been together for 2 years we broke up months ago cause i thought we were unhappy. Had become friends with benefits since we were living in the same place. Im almost 30 yet she is my first real relationship. I was so guarded i never let her get close i dont know why i didnt know any better. When she moved on i realized what ive lost and poured my heart out for her. Felt vulnearable for the first time. Thats all i had to do is to let her in. Give myself a chance to pull my guard down instead of being afraid. But i was a little too late. I know she still has a bit of feelings for me but she had been hurt before and she has to give her self and the new guy a chance because she is a nice person like that. And she really deserve that. But now im left feeling alone and broken for the first time. And i feel like i never will findout if i just had rhe 2nd chance i would have done better with the open me. All i can think about is them my body trembles and i feel like they are g9ing to be together forever. They are both great and i feel they could be each others final relationship. I cant even see how ill get relief and move on. I am so screwed.
Hello! You are not screwed up, its sounds like you have a fear of letting your guard down, being vulnerable is tough here is quote " Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection." - Brene Brown. I know you mentioned that you don't think you could move on but you will, eventually day by day it will get easier it just takes work, lots of work it isn't easy but moving on is what we do no matter how much we care about someone eventually that love turns into love from a distance. I really recommend taking this time for yourself and allow yourself to grieve this relationship, cry and let it all out. If you notice being vulnerable is a pattern I suggest getting some help because it could make future relationships easier so you don't repeat the same patterns. You are not a screw-up, you are worth so much. Right now it seems bad but you are going to rise again and be strong.
@Shyness98
:( it is so hard. I wished so hard for a 2nd chance. I wish i didnt have to move on but all of that I have no control :( i can't believe it is not me and her for this life :(
@PanicSauce I don't have relationship experience, but I still want to offer some words of support. I can understand how this first serious relationship was and is so meaningful and must have hurt so much. I want to say first that you will be okay. No matter what happens, you will be okay.
I would offer this perspective... You are in your late 20s. You have many years and much more life to live and to find someone who you can feel truly vulnerable and open with. Your first relationship with your girlfriend was indeed meaningful and special, but even more so because it helped prepare you for an even healthier and more fulfilling relationship in the future. Maybe you want to improve your ability to open up to someone. How do you want to do that? I'm also trying to be more vulnerable around people, and for me personally, I am working on self-acceptance, self-love, and self-compassion.
Also, maybe there was a reason why you had a hard time being as vulnerable as you wanted with your ex-girlfriend. Maybe you weren't feeling the right connection, or maybe there wasn't enough communication from both ends, or maybe you didn't feel the vulnerability was reciprocated, or who knows, I have no idea, I'm just spitballing. But what I mean is maybe don't blame yourself so much. There are two people in a relationship after all.
Lastly, it sounds really difficult to move on if you are living with your ex-girlfriend and are FWB. Is there a way to not live with her?
@sunshinethrow we were FWB till couple weeks ago now that she found someone. I didnt know better it was all new and it truly didnt help beimg FWB no right relationship comes well with that ive now realized. She has more experience than me. She gave it all worked real hard to help it. Ive failed her. She deserves eveything good. Shes the most beautiful kind gentle soul wished i seen that before it had to be like this
