meeting for coffee

@kindsummer2897

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

he broke up with me and im the one to reach out. the reason he broke up with me was because being at different universities had some challenges that we werent mature enough to handle yet. (I don't know which challenges and struggles you two went through, but from the looks of it sounds like you two were triggering each other and didn't have the necessary skills to handle things on a different way, which has to do with the programming they put inside both of you as children) it caused some arguments to come up (I can tell that one or both sides felt disconnected and not safe, so it lead to arguments) but they were always the same and i think he just got overwhelmed because he has other mental health issues. (From the looks of it they were a lot of unresolved issues, which means one side wanted to discuss things while the other was either dismissive or pushing things under the rug. His mental health issues can cause stress on the relationship, and it will impact how he behaves on the relationship) he said he still loved me and that it was really hard but that he needed to work out some of his own issues before getting back into a relationship.

my ex and i broke up almost 3 months ago because he was in a bad place mentally and couldnt handle a relationship. (I don't know which things he was going through, but from what i read so far he tends to back off, get into his own shell and not share as much) now were both done school for the summer (were in uni) and back in the same small town for 4 months. i asked if he wanted to meet for coffee and he agreed saying it would be nice. i want to get back together but i dont know if he does or if hes ready for a relationship. (I understand you want him back, and that you still have feelings, but its so important to reflect on how the relationship went. It's a good decision to get back to him right away because theres a high chance he has not done any work on himself, and you can't put yourself in a position where it'll end up in another breakup. Also check why do you want him back? is it because of love?, loneliness? emptiness? or another reason?) i have done a lot of growing since the breakup (You did great on working on yourself) and if we got back together, i would want the relationship to be much different and more mature/positive. (This is the right attitude to have, but it takes two people to form something like this, and theres a high chance he might not have done the work you have done) how should i go about this when seeing him? (It's important to first see how things have been going with him and if he had make any changes because it'll lead to you getting hurt again if he has not make any changes) i know not to have too many expectations.

@kindsummer2897

Why don't you just meet up, talk about what he's been up to, what you've been up to, and just see where it goes? No pressure. If you both decide you want to try to get back together, maybe be clear on what you want to change and what you want to happen when you go back to school. Being open and honest with each other is key.