A girl wonders if her female friend is into her? Please help!

@bee569

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I am with a group of 2 other girls name Kelly and L (L is the one i'm having a crush on). I am a friend of Kelly and Kelly is L's best friend. So you can say that Kelly is a connection between us. A month ago or so, we started to hang out more. Most of the time, when Kelly says something mean/makes a joke on me; L tries to be on my side. Kelly told me that L is pretty quiet and introverted. Being said that L was asked a couple of times by certain college guys and she refused to go on a date. (This shows she wasn't interested in any of those guys, they probably turned her off a few minutes after talking to them) L also does not initiate to hang out with Kelly sometimes. L loves her bed, wherever she goes, she wants to go home and lie down on bed.

As time goes on, I and L got a bit closer when Kelly did not go to class several times (because she is our mutual friend so she always sits in the middle of us). After class, L usually went to the library with me as an excuse that she needed to study too, although she was lazy. (You mentioned "although she was lazy", so this leads me to believe that she wanted to spend more time with you) The started to add friend me on facebook.

There was one time that I sat in front of her studying on my laptop. When I headed up, I caught her looking at me. (People who are shy and introverted tend to look at a person they fancy) The eyes did tell something, I mean it was something weird... and charming... She was not scared away at all though, continued looking at me until I asked something to avoid the awkwardness. (This could be she likes what she sees in you)

During spring break, Kelly and L started to hang out at my apartment more. When we were talking, Kelly asked me why I treated L so rude by not saying hello back several times when we encountered before. (The fact kelly is telling you this could mean that L assumed the wrong thing and talked about it with her, instead of you) I said I did not saw her.

L replied that I always ignored her in the first place, (This is not about something you did, I believe her insecurities and past issues are being triggered here. I believe she always felt ignored growing up, so now this will trigger in all of her adult friendships/relationships) giving an example that I tried to avoid saying hello, talking to her or running away when we accidentally met in the library. (Her anxiety and abandonment issues are being triggered here. I believe L felt tons of anxiety and then got tons of negative thinking about the situation, however you are not responsible for how she feels or how she interprets things). She was joking that she wanted to get my attention and then ditch me, (This was no joke...it was an indirect communication telling you she got hurt, and then thought about revenge...which is a punishing behavior) just like I did. (This is similar to "I felt hurt, so i will make you feel hurt the same way to see how you like it)As far as I notice, Kelly is a bit homophobic and so is L.

In the end of the semester, Kelly moved away to another city. That means only me and L in the group. She cared about me just a bit more than Kelly did although I and Kelly are friends for a longer time.

One day, L suggested that she wanted to come to my apartment because she was bored. (The reason of her coming is just strange...I mean wouldn't it have been best if she came to your apartment to spend time with you?. Her reason sounds a bit of an excuse as well.) However, after 3-hour summer class, she said she was exhausted and went straight home. She made a plan another day instead. The first time when we were together, it was normal. We ordered food, watched Netflix and she seemed happy. I'm not sure if I was fooling myself but she laughed at almost every joke I made. (This communicates she loves spending time with you) And I did too. Then, I remember Kelly once told me that L was attracted to hilarious people and L said I was so hilarious, and unique. (Most people are attracted to hilarious people, it gives a sense of comfort and safety in any kind of relationship. The danger zone here is that you are telling kelly how you feel about L, Kelly will most likely tell L everything, so be careful what you share) I gave her my spare key to the apartment just in case she got a place to go when forgets her door's key (she always did). She took it and returned it back to me the next time we met. She said she was afraid of losing it. I told her it didn't matter but she wasn't agreed. However, she asked me to go out on weekend for dinner. (This sounds like she likes you in some sort of way)

***Please notice this: Before Kelly left, she told me that "Remember to take L out because if you don't ask, she'd never initiate to ask you.' (This is probably because Kelly didn't wait long enough for L to ask her out first) Things left off just like that.

Before I went back to my country for summer break, she called me saying that she wanted to see me before I leave for months. She said I was cold. (This person is used to a certain behavior from you and expectations, if it doesn't match it with her expectations then it's where she will start to feel disconnected, and try to force you to be the person you used to be so she can feel safe by saying "You are being cold". Her insecurities and past trauma are triggering here, she will often create drama this way because she is putting unmet needs on you)

The second time she was alone in the apartment with me, she was more comfortable. (If she spends time with you then she feels safe, if she doesn't then feels disconnected.) She offered to fold my clothes and cooked for me. I sat on another side of the couch and most of the time, she put the pillow right next to my thigh and lying there watching horror movies. She always tries to grab my arm and jokingly shake it (which I did not see she did to Kelly before). (This is because she feels safe and comfortable with you, so she becomes more affectionate with you than with Kelly.) During the movie, she held my hand several times, touched and played with my fingers then pulled away. She did it back and forth. When she talks to me, she looks me right in the eyes and it scares me... the eye contact.(These are all signs she has attraction for you)

She asks me about the meaning of my tattoos, my past relationships. (She is really interested in you, someone who doesn't care would not try to ask this many questions) She told me she is not seeing anyone because nobody seems to satisfy her standard. (I don't think anyone will to be honest...she probably has certain unreasonable expectations) She lingered at my apartment longer than she used to that night. When she left, I could see she was upset. (She probably wanted something to happen or something else happened that triggered her insecurities)

She followed my instagram later and usually replied to my stories to start a conversation. Talking to her became way easier than texting because we are both not good at communicating to people.

After I went back home, we kept in touch by texting. Her texting style is kinda slow responding to everyone, so it wouldn't bother me. I told her I just refused going on a date with a guy and she responded: "You did right. It is not that easy to get to know my [my nickname] without my permission first". (I think she would get jealous if you start dating other people, or if she sees you spending more time with other people. I believe she is putting unmet needs on you, trying to feel loved and taken care by you. The comment she said sounds sweet, but something off the way she said it) This is what she said. Things just went on like that. We shared emotions. She let me know when she was sad. L remembers several details that I told her; she even knows some little things that I didn't even tell her before. One time we were joking, I told her to stay away from me and she said "I can't. So what now?" ...(She won't be able too because its terrying for her to be alone) My other friends told me that was flirty since she played it hard on guys to get to know her. (This is just playing games and being structured)

From then to now, we don't talk that much anymore. I don't know what happened but it takes a great amount of time for her to respond even though she is online. (This sounds like she has lost interest in you, she might have gotten too familiar with you or wanted something more with you) She asks questions less than she used to as well. It feels like she doesn't know what to talk or simply doesn't want to talk. (It's important to not put much effort in the conversation as well, mirroring her behavior because she is definetly pulling away from you) Maybe this week is her final.

L is confusing me because of what she has been doing. I really wanted to ask her directly to take off this rock on my chest but I knew I would never be able to handle anything which comes later. (No need...she will just make excuses and will pull away) And it drives me crazy. (This is your separation anxiety, her pulling away from you is triggering your abandonment issues) I just want to make it clear myself whether she has a thing for me or not without asking her :( That way, if she doesn't, I can move on. Otherwise, I'll make a move because I like her too, a lot. (She showed a lot of signs she does, but then it was not reciprocated, so she started to back away from you)

I believe that you guys have more experience than me, and be able to see things more clearly than me as well. I need fresh eyes. Please help me out! THANK YOU