Discussion - Realizing that our friends don't grow along side us

Honestly, a lot of my friend's from high school passed away, over the last 6 years it was awful. The others drifted apart like what your talking about. Only one high school friend that I know of is still a great friend with me. But that's cuz we were in college together. My other chosen family is physically across the country and around parts of the world. We still keep in tough. I only had to break up with one friend that I know of. But that's because he became a super toxic person. And started following me everywhere. Like he even got a job where I worked at the time. And almost got me fired in college. I had to tell him to stay away from me. And the people I cared for. Which was brutal but I didn't know any other way to get him to stop showing up everywhere like he would show up at my house late at night saying he just wanted to hang out. One time I let him and he started acting aggressive so my roommates n I kicked him out. But when I told him to stay away publicly at my work. He quit the next day and I never saw him again. It was the scary and weird. He wasn't like that in high school. Idk what he was struggling with but I couldn't help him.

i lost my best friend of 7 years in 2016 but it was for the best i had out grown her friendship she was kinda mean anyways so i am better off

I grew apart from all my highschool friends once we all went away to different colleges. I'm only friends with one of them if you consider being in a relationship as kind of a friendship too. I still think about them a lot and I wish that the bond was still there but they are all different people now and they changed in a way where I just don't click with them anymore. Finding new friendships with that same amount of closeness hasn't been very easy.

I love my buddies but I hold my values dear as well. My friends have started drinking and smoking but I don't like it. They're really good friends of mine and I'm afraid to lose them which is why I don't stand-up against them when they do such stuff but I feel bad about having to see them doing that shit and also feel bad about not being able to correct them because they may spoil themselves and of course their bodies.

I have not yet learned how to make friends.

I moved across the globe for work a few years ago, some of my friends I have stayed in touch with, but others have fallen by the wayside. I realised that I had to put much more effort into reaching out to them, as lives get busy and people do forget sometimes. Im lucky enough to have two really close friends back home, and a handful of other friends who I still talk to, but for the majority of those I would have considered close in the past, we have reduced to the occasional conversation over social media. Change has always been a difficult thing for me to process, and losing friends has been a particularly hard battle, one that I still deal with - I find it hard to view potential new friends without stacking them up against ones I have known for a decade or more. Im fortunate to have the friends that have stuck by me, and I by them, but it is not without great effort on both sides.

I had a friend for about 10 years, we were very close and alot alike shop we got along really well. during that 10 years I became stable, met my now husband, then had a baby. Meanwhile see was heavily drinking and doing drugs, making generally bad choices. I had helped her escape from a bad living situation then a bad relationship, and held her hand while she got professional help and got medication for what I strongly believe was bipolar disorder. At one point she chose to go off meds and eventually went back on them after imploding again. The last time she went off them was 3 months before my wedding In which she was going to be a bridesmaid. Since i had my baby we had been slowly drifting because ahe couldnt handle my new level of adulting. but she's one of my oldest friends so I wanted her to be a part of my wedding. She impulsively decided to quit her job, move an hour away and found another job after a few weeks. She the told me she couldn't make it to my bachelorette party, which was even IN her new home town, and soon after said she couldn't attend the wedding because she was afraid to ask for the time off work. I get mental illness and making many bad life choices, but that was the last straw. I realized she would never understand how to be a friend and even if she did she might never be well enough to give anything back, it will always be me being a caretaker with nothing in return. So sad because I still love her and believe she's a beautiful soul.

I had a friend when I was young, she was from a very disfunctional family. A family with no father, with her twin brother, a crazy mother, an uncle, aunt and a grandma.

She was always kind of awkward to be honest. I didnt mind it though. And so we were friends for a while before I noticed that she had some mental issues, a distorted image of reality basically.

One day she got jealous of me ( she said that herself afterwards) and spread a disgusting rumor about me to everyone. And from that day on I was bullied for aproximately 8 years by everyone, every kid in the town. I couldnt go out without being pushed to the ground, hit, kicked, had a ball thrown at me, had some really messed up stuff said to me. Of course I was a fiesty kid, Id hit back, people always say stand up to bullies, but I know from experience that that doesnt do shit and all you can do is wait it out, wait for it to stop, wait for life to move on. And I did tell to my parents for anyone wondering. Basically, I started believing the rumor too, I remember thinking of some messed up stuff back then, and of course, it didnt happen, but it felt like it did and it was so real. And yeah, we stayed friends still.

Some years passed after the rumor started and she became anorexic, she didnt eat anything but half an apple a day. Shed run a lot and shed start bringing other people down on purpose and pushing her distorted reality onto us. She lost a lot of weight and looked like she was slowly dying, she hated EVERYTHING about herself, her hair, she was a natural blonde but wanted it brown, her hair was straight, she wanted it curly, she was a normal weight for her height but she wanted to be mine and she was tall and I was considerably shorter than her. And yeah, she also wanted to cut her legs and be shorter too. She did everything I did, cut her hair when I did and the same as I did. Dressed up into the same clothes and more. Copied my personality and just.. I was finally starting to get my life back in check, she was destroying it once more, even though Id still be bullied everywhere it became normal to me and I moved on. I tried to help her, called her beautiful so often, said shes at an okay weight, hang out with her all the time.. But it just, nothing worked. And I shut her out.

Nowadays, she became sort of a whore as wed say, she goes around giving blow jobs and chasing boys. She tried to help a boy rape my friend recently too. So yeah, I feel bad that we couldnt help her, and not a day goes by without thinking about her and that I shouldve done more.

My best friend met a girl and got engaged really fast and completely cut everyone out of his life. I used to chill with him every single day. It

I feel s if this has happened so many times to me. Its always really hard but sometimes it happens. And now ive feel like ive got a really good awesome group of friends