Discussion - Realizing that our friends don't grow along side us

I can definitely relate... but I think I'm the one who isolates myself. I have one friend I've kept close. My other old friends... I feel like they got stuck in high school. When we all went off to college I tried new activities and branched out to meet new people, they stayed in their hometown in their little bubble. Their interests haven't changed, and neither has their maturity. I am torn about this, because they are very nice people and always inclusive. I just don't have fun with them anymore

People very rarely stay with you through most of your life but it always hurt when they abandon you and pretend you don't even exist. I just wish that someone would stay at least for a little while.

Definately have experience with this. Both from drifting apart from friends in terms of interests or things like that and from being separated by distance where over time, contact decreases. Maybe it is natural occurrence in life but it is a truely awful feeling. In my experience, people may say they will keep in touch and will always be there and probably mean it at the time, but i have learned not to really believe it. I hope other peoples' experiences are different.

I am beginning to realize that either I am the one behind or something is wrong. My friends and I used to talk all the time but then we started to get jobs, work and while we tried to communicate, it sometimes seemed to go by the wayside. I used to talk with my best friends whenever I could but I then got busy with school and work and even then, I feel hesitant to communicate because I am afraid.

I got into a fight with my best friend once and she wanted me to get help but went about it in a horrible fashion that just led to a mass blowup and a mass breakdown on my end. I talked with my therapist and the like but it just seemed better if we managed some distance between us. That happened but once it did, it seemed like we communicated less and less. I worked and was a full time student and she worked and now has a family of her own. We even have a mutual friend but I even seem cut off from them and all of that. I do not know if I am being left behind or I have left them behind or what I can do to salvage the friendship(s), if there are things to salvage. It hurts and I am not the best about getting out there and making new friends. Strangers scare me and I fear others won't accept me for being myself.

I place a great value on the friendship but am afraid that I have been deemed not worth it or am afraid that the drift has become too much. I am a homebody and like to spend time at home with my family, who has come closer to me and is a great support system, but I feel that I may have chosen one over the other.

I do not know what to do...

I used to have this friend I've known since high school, and we were really close. She was actually enrolled at another school, so we'd only meet during weekends for church activities, like choir and cathechism.
Summer was more fun, because we were inseparable. We almost saw each other everyday. I'd go to her house for sleepovers, or she'd come over mine, and we'd have a movie marathon all night, singing sessions, gossip over boys (teenage girl stuff). We'd go to the mall, park, or the beach, and eat junk food. We shared our deepest secrets to each other, our wishes in life, dreams for the future, and have adventures together. She really was my best friend... Or so I thought.
After high school we got separated (2008); she went to college to study nursing, and I went to look for work, because my parents were having financial issues at that time, since my dad got sick, so they couldn't afford to send me to college.
At first we kept in touch via email, or sometimes chat if we were both free. We really tried to keep each other posted with what's going on in our lives, but she got more busy with college, and I was trying to help my mom make ends meet. I'd still send an email occasionally, and sometimes I get a response (barely).
Fast forward to four years later (2012), we finally got the chance to meet up, and I was really excited. For a while we were both really happy to see each other. But as the days went by, I've noticed that we both have changed a lot throughout the years we've been apart. There she was a college graduate, and a registered nurse, ready for new opportunities in life. While on the other hand, I was broke, unemployed (the company I worked for decided to downsize), and only a high school grad. Despite the circumstances in my life, I still stayed positive, and I believed good things will happen someday. But what I didn't expect was for her (my "best friend") to be such a snob. Even her parents didn't want her associating with me because I was penniless and didn't hold a college degree (screw them!).
Anyway, in the end I realized she wasn't a true friend. If she was, she wouldn't give a damn of who or what I was. It shouldn't have mattered to her if I had nothing in my life.
At least after all that, I got a new job, and I decided to go to college (currently taking up mass communication) to earn that damn college degree (hell yeah!)
The last time we got in touch was four years ago (2014), she got married and has two kids. She actually unfriended me from Facebook when she had her first baby; I blamed it on postpartum depression but whatever! We've drifted apart a long time ago, and I've already moved on. Sure, there are days when I miss her if something reminds me of her, but I've made new friends. Friends who knows of my past, and accepts me for who I am. Friends whom I can share new adventures, and make new memories with.

"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side."

There are different friends and relationships, some friends are physically always near by. Sometimes miles apart. True friends you can literally pick up the phone to once in a blue moon and although we've grown and followed separate paths, all our goals are similar. However does society and eagerness to do so much put pressure on friendships. Are we always really too busy just simply to say Hi.

I feel the same way with some of my friends. I miss my old friends but we are far away from each other. And along the way, I found new friends but then a few years later, I realized that these are not the type of friends that I want to surround myself with. So, I stop seeing them because we just dont have anything in common and everything is just built around fake stuff. Its built around what looks good in the social media. And I just couldnt take it anymore. The older I get, the more I get so choosy when it comes to friends. And yet, I feel so lonely, that sometimes,I felt so desperate to have somebody to talk to. It is depressing.

I am traumatized by friendships. Since high school, the people i know are all fakes. Im already 22 and I pity myself because i have to find out the hard way that "friends" will sacrifice you just to save their own bums.

I guess everyone has his own path and grows in a different way and tempo, we are not in control over our friends progress neither are they in control over us..

we can only be respectfull towards them.. and be there for them if need be..