Discussion : What is your toxic trait?

im way too controlling, i feel like ive never had much control in my life on my own so in every relationship i try to control the other person and i dont know how to stop because when im not controlling im worrying and anxious.

@AveryLove

I have very low expectations from friendships and relationships, especially from people who are new in my life. Though ideally, it should work in my favour, having low expectations makes me kind of a pushover. Like I do my best to maintain the bond but don't ask the same in return, I am afraid people would think of me as pushy and clingy. I try to be there when someone needs me all the time, but I don't find any support when I need. And I don't bother to ask people. Not sure what stops me. It's because of this trait people have used and walked over me several times. And I can't even hate them for doing that, I don't know what's wrong with me.

Should I stop being available for everyone? coz it does hurt when it is not reciprocated

My toxic trait is giving so much and asking the same amount in return.

This is something I find really hard to admit because I always think I just love the person because they are my friend so I will shower them with affection and love. I told myself it's fine if they didn't give it back, I just want to express my love for them. But actions contradicted that belief, I badly wanted to know if I am even important to that person. There's jealousy and envy when I see the other person with another friend, their inside jokes and the things they talk about. It's not even jealousy that controls, it's jealousy that hurts on the inside so much I cannot bear being with the person anymore. I felt unwanted. I felt undeserving. I give love maybe not because I love the person, but because I wanted to feel wanted and needed. I wanted the person to see my worth and choose me.

I absolutely hate this. I hate this trait of mine. I'm the only one aware of it, because it's something in the inside only subtle actions can express. It's hiding behind my shadow, something I desperately don't want to acknowledge. If it get expressed accidentally I will be in an identity crisis, because the belief of giving people love without asking anything back contradicted my emotions and actions. I begun asking who am I really.

This trait needs to be acknowledge, or it will get better until it controls me.

My.. .. im passive agresive, I isolate myself and leave people hanging, Im negative and get jelous very easily :|

holding onto things long past any given reason to do so

unconditional forgiveness, apologizing for having emotions and needs.

i also have a short temper when i'm really emotionally burned out.

@AveryLove

i tend to expect from people that they are perfect, just like i expect me to be perfect

I have so much difficulty trusting other people (due to past abuse) that I am ready to cut them loose if they make a big mistake and I can't forgive easily. I hold other people to a very high standard, not because I think they'll meet it, but because I know they won't and I want to see how much they're able to improve when they know my expectations. I justify this by also holding myself to a high standard, which makes me miserable and feel like I am always failing. Even when I'm upset I want to look my best because I associate ugliness with weakness and being unloved (because I was bullied when I was younger based on my appearance). In sum, my toxic trait is being a perfectionist and the anxiety associated with that. I try too hard to make things fit my ideal vision and lose good things because I thought that they weren't good enough. And I think I am not good enough.

Im often in my "fight mode" i call it, and im afraid of rejection. So i may seem very harsh and unwelcoming from outside, but i have a good intentions, i would never hurt anybody deliberately. But im often unaware of how others may see my words, and i regret a lot of them. Thats why i often just stay silent to avoid awkard situations. In reality im just afraid of being seen as someone untrustworthy and bad.