Discussion : What is your toxic trait?
hello my lovely community! happy sunday, very glad to see you here today 
Often, we tend to discuss red flags in others, toxic traits our partners / friends have rather than reflect on our own traits and what we are maybe doing wrong. Having a toxic trait or more does not mean being a bad person - and it is really important to be honest with yourself here in order to improve.
this question requires lots of self-awareness and being able to view your flaws - it is definitely a hard thing to do and scary to admit our own flaws, but no one is judging you. we all have toxic traits. i have too.
so i would like to ask you to sit down for a moment and ask yourself,
what is your most toxic trait you can admit to?
As an INFJ, the most infamous toxic trait is our "door slam". I shut people out without prior warning; usually it's a consequence of me feeling overwhelmed by the person/relationship/situation and instead of dealing with it upfront healthily, I sometimes "save" my sanity by escaping and leave others hanging.
Definitely not proud of this - still learning and trying my best to be brave & mature to talk things out instead of running away.
@FaithAmelie
I'm an INFJ and I've door slammed too. But u don't really feel bad about it because it's usually a result of someone having pushed me there. However, I do think it would be much healthier for me or other INFJs to draw better boundaries and stop giving people the benefit of the doubt, so it doesn't come to the point of a door slam.
@FaithAmelie
I am an INFJ and i have been doorslammed. It hurt so much that i ended up doorslamming them back. and we haven't talked since, and won't. It hurts to doorslam, and it also just really hurts to be doorslammed
@BluSky123
Yes dear, you got me right there. Hurts both parties when door slam happens. 😔
@FaithAmelie
I am an INFJ too, same. I posted later on and I forgot about the door slam
My memory/attention deficit is one of my toxic traits since the ones whom I care about think I am not listening or paying attention since I forget things or change subjects sometimes. I try to keep notes as well I can...bi-polar mood swings are another, but one is enough for now😶...
Being stubborn, not drawing good boundaries because of which I invite a lot of crap into my life.. And wallowing in negative emotions sometimes instead of letting go.
@AveryLove
I can be cold and ruthless, and have weak boundaries, as a result of which I get angry and very manipulative.
I am so sensitive in my dealings that I am afraid to start with something that I'm likely to experience a bad experience with.
@AveryLove
I avoid sharing my feelings and inner world with people and generally avoid people altogether the only exception is when writing (something im very comfortable with when it comes to ideas and concepts anyways) and people intersect (like here on 7cups) when that happens i tend to get very attached to people quickly yet i still have the urge to avoid people and isolate in my own world that im most comfortable in and sometimes give into the urge to do that with little or no explanation (see beginning) ... so my toxic thing is really kind of a combination of things that ive been doing since childhood and id really like to figure out how to break the cycle but not sure how :(
@jennysunrise8
In my opinion it is not a toxic trait at all, it is what introverts are all about and I was and am like that, once said said: an extrovert in the body of an introvert, sometimes vice versa😊. Many times there are no explanations just a body or mental or emotional urge or push to isolate with like you wrote, no reason at all. My childhood friends used to think I was mad at them, but no it just happens out of the blue. I just let my mind and soul tell me when to be an intrivert or extrovert and some self confidence and true friends help to be more extrovert. In my case, the encounter with "the end" made me not care anymore about what people think about me and that in my case helped me open up since I knew nothing worse can ever happen to me😶...
I'm the opposite to a lot of the people who have shared here. I tend to quick involvement and Oversharing Personal Information. Its definitely something I'm working on. I also tend to Avoid Conflicts to the extreme.
I guess I go to two extremes when I react- either I'm passive aggressive or extremely aggressive and rude. It takes time for me to understand there is a middle way too.
I have trouble setting boundaries. When someone says something I don't like or I feel attacked, I insult them relentlessly. I hold grudges and don't forget easily.
@AveryLove I have trouble with boundries! I am trying to stop rescuing people and learning how to say no.
