I am going to die a kissless virgin
Hi, So the title says it all really, I am 18 and have never had a girl interested in me. All my friends are not virgins and have girlfriends and I have nothing. I thought I was accepting it.. But it's tearing me apart. I can't deal with knowing that no one will ever find me attractive or love me. It hurts every day and night. People say that I shouldn't worry about it but how can I not? Everyone else has something but not me. I can go from upset to angry in seconds. I just don't know what to do anymore.
most adultswish they had waited till they were married to have sex. so if you're waiting, don't feel stupid: feel smart. because this is making you stronger in a way you might not understand. patience is huge.
I was raised by a father who was strict. We were raised to believe that you waited to have sex with that special someone that you were to marry. I think thats why I didnt get what malek was talking about. He was talking about having sex for the sake of having it and no longer being a virgin. I guess we are all raised differently and have different values.
I felt like you feel now about 3 years ago. Friends all had girlfriends. I suffered from a lack of selfconfidence. I thought it would just never happen. I thought to myself that I'm 18 I should be running after girls, picking them up at clubs, dating them all the time. The more I tried the more I thought I looked like an idiot. But one day I had a chance meeting with someone I'd met before, we chatted, we weren't in a club or on a pre planned date it was just 2 people meeting by chance. She's my first girlfriend and she will be my only girlfriend, once I sort out a few problems going on in my head I intend to marry her. What it tought me was that the clichof be yourself is true to a point but you have to be willing to change for someone. To get on the first step I'd say to anyone is to be patient, don't be someone you're not and you need to have faith in yourself. For me I bought a new t shirt or went and had a haircut and it transformed how I felt about myself. And remember when you find the right person (and you will find the right person, I promise you) be yourself, use your gut instinct, talk openly with her and if she is the one don't let anyone else tell you she's not. There's 9 years separating me and my girlfriend, if I took notice of what people said about us then I would not be with her anymore.
Society today is very different than it used to be. More teen pregnancies, STD's, and more HIV/AIDS b/c of the gay/lesbian population increase. I lost my virginity to a friend when I was 19. I didn't love him, I just wanted to have sex. I don't regret it, but at the same time, I wish I would have waited. It's better when it's with someone you truly care for and love. You'll be alright.
I think that in our society, romance and sex is heavily pushed onto us. Everything in the media is sexualised and there are expectations of when to have a partner, when to have your first kiss, when to lose your virginity and etc. I think that we should just let things be, and everything will fall into place. If we are looking for a partner just to have a partner, I think that we are looking for the wrong reasons. There is no time limit for love, so relax! It will happen at one point :)
Cheers x
Okay I want to add a few things here 1.People lie a lot about things like this especially when there is a perceived sense of shame 2.Some people will have a lot of respect for you for not just following the crowd 3.I really think that it's important to be honest about your own experiences or lack of experience and to wait even if it never comes means that it just wasn't meant to happen and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
I can relate to this problem, I started going to the gym and got some friends at the university that are great. But you have to accept yourself, but if you can't like I did then you go the gym. It does not Just get you healthier and build up confidence or begin in another sport. To me the luck was onlinedating and I am seeing a girl who share a lot of my hobbys and interest. Look away from the perfectly fit men you see on television and tell yourself everyday has an unique body. I run a lot and I was never a profesjonal athlete but I crused the ones who did sport at running. Crushing Victor for me. You need to think positive, you need inititative talking to a girl and in most cases you have to be the man. I practiced in the clubers and have few but very good friends and 2 brothers that helped me much. I am 19 and still virgin but with this girl I see I will loose ut in the near month
Sex is like the illuminati, only real. It controls your mind, and makes you obsess on unimportant things.
Hi NotCam,
First off, thank you so much for sharing your story with us here at 7 Cups of Tea. I know first hand it can sometimes be scary and challenging to tell your story and share your feelings with others. I?m sorry you?re feeling so torn up over this, it sounds like you?re under a lot of pressure. Of course, you are the expert on you, but from my own experience, I wonder if you might feel a little better by taking a breath and gaining some perspective on the situation? You mentioned that you are eighteen, this can be a really exciting and unnerving time in your life, filled with ups and downs- but the good news is it won?t last forever. Who knows what the next few years can bring? Maybe the experience you are having right now will help you navigate your way to a great life? Hope this helps some!
Tranquilheart has a great point as many others do - you have to be able to accept yourself and this period DOES have a lot of ups and downs, but it DOESN'T last forever. When these things start to happen, they'll (oddly) be when you least expect it and aren't pressuring yourself about them. I know it's frustrating and scary. I also agree that taking a step back from thingsand trying to gain some perspective will be incredibly helpful.
Believe me, you'll find someone. It's better holding on for that special someone. I'm a 17 year old girl, and tbh I had a very drunken night out where I made a fool out of myself. I'm still a virgin, thank god, but I did do things that night that I will always regret. You don't hae to kiss someone or have sex with them so be the 'cool' one. In my opinion, 'saintlike' is better. It's more attractive, it shows that you don't just use girls for the wrong reasons.But honestly, theres someone out there for everyone, and your only 18 like, you have your whole life ahead of you. You'll soon be going to college or working independantlyand I guaruntee you that you'll find her! :)
