Navigating Jealousy in a Non-Committed Relationship
There's this guy I've been talking to for about three months now (let's call him L). He lives a few hours away so our relationship has been purely internet based so far, but we talk every day and plan to meet up this month. We agreed that our relationship should be kept on the casual side (i.e. no commitment) due to distance, but he was also hinting at past relationship trauma.
He mentioned that I was the only person he was flirting with, though every now and again I'll see women comment flirty things on his *** posts. I'll check out their profiles and notice that L follows them and likes all of their posts. For some reason, this fills me with rage and self-hatred, despite the fact that we're not committed to each other.
Does anyone have any insight as to why I may be feeling this way, and what I could do about it?
@shingocosie
It sounds like you're getting close to this guy and so it's only natural that you'd want him all to yourself.
I think it's important to ask yourself what exactly you want from this guy, as it seems he's set the tone for the relationship without considering your wants/needs. If you're the committal type and always have been, it's going to be difficult for you to get into a non-committal relationship.
Even if you did become a committed couple, you can't control what other people comment on his posts or who follows him, or whether he likes/follows other people. The only thing you can control is your own emotions and what you do and don't choose to react to.
I think it's a good time to communicate with him about how you're feeling after you've decided what you're hoping/expecting from the relationship. If your wants/needs differ drastically to his or there is no compromising happening, it might be worth considering the future of the relationship.
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