One Thing I Learned From My Relationships Challenges

Ive learned that you cant fix people. And you shouldnt wait around for them if they show no effort to change. They are not a plant and you are not their sun. Its nice to support someone who is trying to change but if theyre dragging you down with them its time to leave.

One thing that I've learned is that you should stay in the relationship just to protect the other person's feelings, you might just not be capable of a relationship right now and that's okay.

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I learned that even though you're older than me, more career successfull than me-- youre still not more mature than me. Even though, you've had more relationship experience, even been "in love" you are not wiser than me. I learned to trust myself. I grew closer to Christ. And I know more of who will be right for me.

Dont let someone have to tell you they dont want you twice.

Nice guys arent always the right guys. They may have issues as well.

That was two thing, but both are helpful.

What I've learned so far is that i did not pay attention and lacked dedication, that i was scared of going forward because of a disheartening feeling of not being able to help with their problems and offer the security of their future. I feel very egotistical in abandoning when i cannot help, it feels very wrong and a part of my soul brakes off. I abandoned my last dog because of my condition. It does not feel right to walk away from a soul that you love even if you are not capable to help or because life is bad and insecure in general...i will feel bad my whole life and i cannot forget. Part of the mix of things which prevent us from sleeping or having good thoughts..."you cannot help others unless you help yourself!" But what when if you can't help yourself or there is no help out there, are you condemned to doomed loneliness? Because people can't help you it means they should stay away from you?

TBH this triggered my BPD now I'm sad n shittt lol.

I was going to write this long paragraph about my first love, but instead I'll just make a list.

1.) LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. People say you're incapable of loving someone without loving yourself first, but I call bullshit on that. You can love without loving yourself, however, relationships end and people leave, but you will always have yourself. So love yourself and care for yourself.

2.) IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY, DON'T STAY. Don't move in with them. Don't get engaged. Don't prolong the inevitable.

3.) DON'T LOSE YOURSELF. I feel like after spending 7 years, all my teenage years, with someone I lost sight of myself. Those years are suppose to be spent finding yourself, but I continuously lost mine. I didn't know who I was without him. It terrified me.

4.) ITS OKAY TO GROW APART. Everyone who enters your life isn't meant to stay forever. They come in our lives temporarily to teach us things.

thx for reading my clusterfuk xoxo

I learned that I have to love myself much more than I love my partner, not to live through them bc im my own person, also that love is a two way thing both giving not only me

When it comes to relationships, I learned that it's important to find value in yourself first before getting into anything serious with someone else. Sometimes, in order to discover that value, you must take the time to get to know yourself first and find your own identity (ideally in God, if you're a person of faith). Once you know yourself, only then can you open the door for someone else to get to know you, to love you, and to find value in you in a healthy way. Also, knowing how much you're worth, will help you know if/when you need to walk away because you're being treated less than the gem that you are.

One thing I learned from my relationships is not to jump in too quickly. The person youre seeing might have a mask on. You almost never know who that person really is until time passes and they get so comfortable that they show their true colors. So what Im saying is, take the time to know someone before deciding you want them to be a part of your life. Of course you cant always decide who you meet or something but you can decide if you want them in or out of your life. And if things dont work out, be the bigger person and move on. Wish them well and cut them off.