Why do you need a relationship?
Why do you need a relationship?
I always questioned myself whenever I was at a low point in my relationships or friendships. Every time, I got betrayed I wondered why? Every time I struggled and lost someone, I tried to understand why someone needs a relationship.
A relationship is a rollercoaster ride. But still, there is a strong need we feel to build relationships. When I look at some of the reasons, it validates why we need a relationship. A few to the list are --
1. It improves our emotional well being.
2. With every bad experience, it makes you realize who you do not want to be and improves yourself.
3. It allows you to count someone in times of needs and to vent your feelings and thoughts when face challenges.
4. It allows us to feel a part of something. You feel included and have a sense of belonging.
5. It makes the journey of life easy to travel.
6. 1 &1 equivalent to 11. The rule of synergy comes into effect. It makes you learn, achieve and share so many things together.
7. It allows you to create more love in your life as well as others. Your efforts create ripple effects. It not only affects the person you are in a relationship with but also the people connected to that person.
8. Relationships keep our spirits high even when things are not going well in life and stressful.
There are many other reasons that support the argument of having a relationship rather not to be in. Relationships teach us how to be compassionate, loving and caring to others as well as to oneself & who we want to be in life and don't.
Every relationship you forming is an opportunity to learn and grow. The experiences it brings shape the way you look at the world. Trust, for example, when someone breaks the trust, it shapes you as a person who would think thrice before betraying someone. Because you know how painful it is.
And that is why I think even after so many bad experiences and failures, we build relationships every day in some form. Relationship Community, for example, we built a relationship together. We are here to support each other and get through all sort of relationship struggles. You probably struggling at the moment but you decide to stand for someone by sharing your thoughts and responses. That specific spirit pushes us to build and maintain relationships even no matter how hard it is.
That is the beauty we miss realizing every day. Life is full of possibilities.
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Thank you for your post. I think we as humans are partly made that way--to want relationships, community, and partnership with others. It helped us evolve and thrive.
I think about this as I'm about to move out and separate from my husband. What was missing in our relationship for me was that sense of partnership and emotional trust. I've been longing for it for years, and over the past year have been talking more with an ex boyfriend before my husband and I met. I already feel more emotional trust with him than I ever had with my husband, which is sad...but also kind of exciting since I had given up on having that with a partner. While I know I don't want to jump right into another serious relationship, I also don't want this other guy to get away. He's been amazing in telling me that if things work out with my husband he still wants to be my friend and support me, and over the past year encouraged me to work on my marriage. At the same time, he's made it clear he wants to be with me if/when I'm ready for that. My biggest fear is hurting him, whether my husband and I later get back together or things with him just don't work out. Given everything I've been through, I'm not afraid of being hurt in another relationship. I have a bigger fear of not leaving and not pursuing a relationship that could make me happy.
Nice reminders. It's hard for me to be in relationships with others (even friendships) because so often in my life growing up I've seen the negative, awful sides of others and often don't trust them because of it. It's hard for me to connect with people because of those reasons. I immediately think they'll have bad intentions.
@mimameid
Our negative and awful side can help us in our life?
@ASilentObserver
I have a slightly different perspective to share on this question
Why do you need a relationship?
You don't. It's simply nature's way that different relationships are part of every life. I'm not very good with analogies but I'd like to express human relationships in terms of nature in a garden.
When you have young plants like rose plants, you will inevitably have the weak or doomed branches sprout in the excitement of new growth. It's important to keep pruning these away well in time to allow the strong healthy branches to receive all the nutrition instead. If left unpruned, those weak branches sap up all the energy from the main plant and do not allow it to flourish. As the plant matures, it gets stronger and is able to fend off attacks from harmful influences.
We cannot control or change the nature of other living beings around us, that is not our role as human beings. All we can do is recognize those that are compatible with us, that can coexist in harmony with us, bring positive impacts to our lives and nurture such connects. Those that are destructive to our well being need the "pruning" to avoid wasting our precious "nutrients". With life experience we are ever evolving the kind of person we'd like to be so good/bad connects are a personal point in time perspective.
Nobody betrays you, that is simply their nature they display and your maturing process of learning to identify harmful influences. It was not personal.
There are so many tall trees that have learnt to stand strong and independent of other connections, yet they provide shade and protection to a lot of little plants that are still learning their way. Our human world is just an extension of the same mother nature. We can find most of our examples and answers in nature.
I don
@exuberantPrune9900
Hey not feeling prioritized by someone you love is a big deal. You said that you had already told him that and he didn't do anything to change the situation or make you feel better. That speaks volumes on his character and how he feels about you. I am not going to tell you to breakup with your boyfriend because that's you decision alone. At the same time know your worth don't just take anything from anybody no matter how much you love or care for them. You have to put your feelings first and realized what you need from the person and if your not getting it don't waste your time. Cause someone else can be waiting to give you exactly that.
Hi... Today is my first day in this App, and I really feel lost.
I have a extended list of relationships, meaning, times that I gave away my heart to people I was in love or friends,
It does hurt to see a pattern in the man, which I tried to have something and or cheated me or didnt want to include me in their full lives. The last one I meet exactly one year ago, and it was hard from the beginning to have a strong connection with someone that said to fell the same but told not to be ready to commit anything because about ex relationships.
This last year was a really strange year, I also decide to broke friendships that were toxic to me, and I feel more lonely than ever. No regrets about no longer having this people in my life.
I have to share a house, because of my monthly wage. When the things started it was great, only now Im so upset because of the constantly noise that one guy make in the house, and also for not cleaning and taking the rubbish out. I already gave hints, but he just not change his behaviour. Im so upset with him, that I can barely say hi.
By te way, we share some friends, yesterday they made a party in the kitchen, which I was not invited.
At work, its is my 3th month, it was great, but now Im starting to get so upset because one of the girls is so lazy. I used to like her, maybe I still do.
Its so upset having my heart broken again, dont know what to do to change my anger towards the world and me.
I moved so many times in the last 6 years.
I lived in 4 different countries, changed other 4 inside the cities, and I want to settle. With love too. :(
@ASilentObserver Hi Observer. so I am feeling a little sad and annoyed. I still speak w/ a male friend who has many affairs and his 1st wife divorced him for it. When we are together I get treated very well because he has the means to do so but even though I thought I killed that romantic part of our relationship maybe I really did not. We have very similar interests and I like doing things with him but he is the epitome of a player. I don't think I am even that attracted to him. Now as I am writing this a light bulb went on in my head, It isn't the fact that he is a player it's that I can't meet anyone I am interested in or has similar interests. Because of this, I tend to do many things alone. It gets annoying and lonely, I don't have many steady friends because I work a lot and between that and working out, I don't have a lot of free time. I seek out events to meet potential partners but nope and that is what is upsetting me. I am even taking a trip on my own because I just needed to get away from everything.
That also is scary in a way but exciting too, So that my problem if I had other friends to play with I think that would fill a bit of the void.
Have a good Friday everyone and enjoy!
Loved the article. Absolutely resonated with you. We tend to focus more on relationships and less on friendships but I believe both are equally important to feel nurtured and grow as a person. Awesome perspective!!
@funnyPeach7313
Actually and depending on how you look at it ... a friendship IS a relationship. 🙂 In my opinion, todays world devalues friendships because it devalues loyalty and moral values. A true friend is one who supports you with your life goals but also helps keep you on the right path and away from harm. 👍
I've always wanted to understand what relationships really meant. I struggled to make myself believe that it could mean a companionship of trust, support, love (if any), and above all security. All of the relationships I had in my life unfortunately lacked the minimum of those meanings. My relationship with my family is has been and still is built on my self-guilt with a little bit of love and support but mostly guilt. I have no trust with any of them assuming that they might not be able to handle it. I lost my relationship with friends when I decided to push them away. Probably depression was the main reason behind it. However, my friends were not able to understand the traumatic condition I was going thru. Honestly, all that combined made it was easy to give them up. At one point I was trying to have a fresh start. I just didn't know how and with who. With practise, I happened to be my only FRIEND. Sometimes it feels comfortable to be alone with no burdens or strings attached. No one to worry about or feel sad for or with. But at many occasions, this lonely feeling makes me remember how friendship felt like. The moments I had with them good and bad, happy and sad, reckless and spontaneous. Now I have reached to a point where I know I don't fit in at all. I tried mingling socially but always failed. Yes, I totally understand without relationships things might seem so empty and pointless. I think I got used to that emptiness that I'm scared to even share it with someone else. Perhaps I'm hoping for a romantic relationship that will have the familial and friendship combined in all. Its just a wish but I have a feeling it will happen someday. A relationship that will accept me for me, that I can trust, that I feel safe and secure, that I feel satisfied, that I feel happy to some extent. I know that we all have issues with the relationships around us but its always the problem we have with the relationship with ourselves.
Make life, love better and enjoy the moment.
