Boundaries after being cheated on

@LoveMeTendie idk if it's a boundary but committing loyalty is a lot on honest communication and being vocal about what's ok/ isn't! 💕

@LoveMeTendie

Your feelings are valid and it is okay to take your time to heal from the past cheating. It can help to be open about your fears with your new partner, at the same time remembering they are not the one who cheated on you. They are not to blame for the fears, but they can still choose to be supportive while you navigate the path to healing.

I truly think that it’s up to an individual to choose what boundaries they have for themselves. There’s none that someone “should have”, just ones that people do have. So I’m going to dodge the question a bit. Personally, I need clear communication in my relationships for this reason.

I’m polyam and sometimes people think that, because I’m polyam, they can’t cheat. This isn’t the case, because I do have set boundaries in regards to what I will consider cheating. For me that’s sex without clear communication. Tell me who your with, essentially. I don’t consider cheating kissing or flirting or fantasizing or ***.

This boundary is different with others though, so I always make sure to chat about it with my partner just so we’re all on the same page. I haven’t had any issues with cheating since.

TLDR; equally important to boundaries is communication. Make sure you tell your partner what makes you uncomfortable, what hurts you, what you enjoy and listen as they tell you the same. Acknowledge each other and build a relationship dynamic that works for you.

I think there’s no relationship without boundaries, and it’s healthy, cuz these boundaries actually help us feel safe on ourselves! We will never feel the need to have anyone to feel safe!

while being in a new relationship you kist be honest from the jump. This is how you relate and learn what traumas they may have, any triggers. When you are open to hear and fully listen to someone you are beginning to learn so they can be apart of your life. That patience is needed and accountability to help them along the way. It goes both ways of being open, honest, and being selfless at times so they truly know that you care for them. We want to set healthy boundaries knowing that root of this is for self protection, healing, and a non-negotiable to cheat in any form.