Disrespect
I've been in a relationship for 5 years. Throughout this time I noticed how a level of disrespect started to settle into the relationship. The way he would talk to me, the swearing and yelling. And somehow, I let him get away with it. I thought me loving him and him being sorry would fix it. But it obviously hasn't. So 5 years later, I see myself heading closer to marriage and wanting to start a family and now all I keep thinking is how can I do that when there is no respect. The thing is, it's partially my fault for letting it happen. Being passive and not wanting to fight or make him feel bad. But now I am hurting. And I'm so angry at everything. I know I haven't been perfect, but I've done my best. I've proved myself more than capable of being a women who should be admired, respected and honored. After being sexually harrased a few months ago, it stirred up a form of rage in me. It breaks my heart to love somebody so much and not get the support I need. He had watched me go through all this and he watched how it had broken me down and I thought this would open his eyes and make him realize the women he has. But It hasn't. And it seems like so much stuff has been piled on top of me and I don't even know where to begin to fix it.
I'm really sorry you're relationship has hit this situation. There's so much confusion and contradiction when it comes to loving someone but not knowing how to treat them with the respect they deserve. It's easy to lose patience, get annoyed, mad, or even not want to be around your partner at times. The cause can be external, mental, emotional, etc. It can be something they did or said that triggered the outburst, or something completely out of the air which neither person had control over. Regardless, I can attest to it because I've done this to my fiance as well. We've been in a relationship for over five years now, but i haven't always given her the patience and kindness she shows me. No two people react the same way. But you have to put him in his place, be open and honest about how he makes you feel and how it is making you doubt his capability of handling his emotions towards you. He needs to understand and act accordingly, instead of just saying sorry and cooling off until the next outburst. It took time, and I can still be a dick at times by making ridiculous comments I don't think are a big deal but my fiance hates and takes major offense to. I have to see her perspective, accept and respect it, and then actually act and behave in the way that won't break that trust she puts in me by being my partner. Saying sorry will never be the solution or a real sign of wanting to change. He needs to act.
Hi Apples5, I agree completely, thank you so much for the advice. I understand that people do things and react a certain way out of habit. Thank you for helping me understand the perspective of the other person who may be causing harm but may not be fully aware of this.
@plumPapaya5566
I don't know what to say because I feel I'm in the same boat and it's only been a little over 2 years.
@resourcefulApricot962 I think you need to take action. As you can see, if you don't do anything soon, things will just progress. I don't want you to be in the position I am in. It gets harder the more time you are with the person because you love them so much more. I hope it all goes well x
