Does this count as cheating?
I met my girlfriend a few years ago and we slept together after hanging out casually a few times. A few days later, I hooked up with another girl in our social circle. It didn't seems like an issue since my now-girlfriend and I weren't official at the time, and we both had plans to move to different countries soon. It didn't seem like a long-term relationship was even possible, but we kept dating and became "official" a few weeks later. Now we've been together three years and are talking about marriage.
My girlfriend recently found out about the other girl and got upset since it was someone from our friend group, but I lied and said it was before my girflriend and I had met. Should I tell her that I lied about when it happened? Does it count as cheating if it was before we were official? I know it would hurt her feelings if she found out, but I'm worried that it will be an even bigger problem if it somehow comes up later.
@honestOrange553,
you were not committed hence you did not cheat. Never a good idea to lie though. Might be best to tell her when it really happened. She won't be pleased but from a rational point of view she has no reason at all to blame you. Maybe you have a female friend that you trust and can talk to, so she can advise you on the best way/words to use to tell your girlfriend. Or even ask your mom for advise. It is better to come clear because if she finds out when it really happened that will impact her trust in you.
Id say come clean to her about the lying. And it’s not cheating but I think one reason (as a girl) she would find it upsetting is that at some point you have engaged in sexual acts with someone both of you may see and hang out with. Perhaps she doesn’t know if you look at other girls like that or still look at the girl you hooked up with. It’s like if you found out she still talked to someone she hooked up with and used to like while she knew who you were. It’s not cheating but it can be uncomfortable to think about.
General rule I guess is just to talk it out but also try to see each other’s perspectives
Hope this helps
@honestOrange553- Yes, best to come clean now. She might find out the truth later from someone else. This is a great example of how feelings can get hurt without intention during casual dating. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship.