Feeling broken
Hi,
i wrote before about my long distance relationship with my girlfriend, and i think her love is fading away, i cannot feel it anymore our conversation is like a question and answer portion, and sometimes i have nothing to say cause i am the one who is opening a topic everytime. She is not like this before, i don’t know what to do, shall i confront her? Because the last time that i did, she got angry and told me that maybe she is not the one i want to be with, now i am coming home now to my home country where she is and honestly when i showed her my ticket that i am coming home, i cannot feel her excitement. Like before when we used to talk that i will go home to be with her, i can feel her excitement and joy. But now it is like an empty feeling that i felt feom her, i sacrifice everything to be with her, now i do not know if it is worth it. What i am feeling rigjt now is like i am begging for her time.
I remember when we used to fight because her ex boyfriend is communicating to her again and she told me and showed me there conversation, i was so angry at that time cause it is like they are so happy in there conversation,and she asked me what she can do to make it stop without hurting him, i said “ asked him why he is communicating again? Does he want for both of you to be together again, and tell him that you are with someone else.” What she did is she just said only that we want for both of them to become friends only. And one day she showed me again how she message the guy and it is like a question and answer portion. She told me she did that cause she knows that the guy will give up and never message her again.
Guess what? It is like that she is doing that to me, does she wants me to give up on us? I do not know now what is running on her mind cause she is not telling me everything now. I am so confuse, i do not what to do, it is like my whole damn emotion is mixed up. I am always understanding her cause she is busy with job and family cause she is the one supporting them but apmething is change and i hope i am wrong about it.
Hey there, @akatsuki03
I hear you're feeling lost and lonely in your relationship, long distance relationships are harder than normal and really takes a lot of efforts on both sides to keep it moving. I see you mentioned her behaviour is changed and you find a loss of spark in y'alls relationship, where you're not exactly sure what went wrong but something doesn't feel right either.
It's awful to be in a place, where we have to question if there's still love and affection in the relationship or what could we do if not, I'd feel heartbroken in a similar situation also. It's painfully sad when we try to be understanding and do all that we can to ensure our partner feels nice and loved and is happy with us. On the contrary, when we are suffering with the one being left alone to wander in confusion, it hurts.
I hear you've already tried talking to her once which didn't end up well, Communication sure seems like a good idea though, we are sadly no mind readers and to know how to work on... we need to know what to work on, it's also said, sometimes difficult conversations can help smoothing out relationships if both people are willing to make the effort and having the conversation with a common goal in mind (which could be- to make things better) , maybe trying to ask her gently, what's going on, if there's something she'd like you to know, if anything's bothering her. Giving a space to share thoughts and listen/ validate what someone has to say, then telling them our side of the story, with the intention to find a certain missing piece that's causing the issues in any relationship, could be a helpful approach in dealing with it! What are your thoughts on trying to communicate with her again? ❤
It might also help to reassure her, you are inclining towards this heart to heart conversation, to let her know she's valued and you'd really like to try and make things better, with her support and understanding!
Relationships are a two way street, so always remember, you're equally deserving of all things love, happiness, stability and assurance and understanding as well! Offering hugs! 😊
I'd also like to commend you for trying to seek support for the same, I hope being here, helps you feel heard and supported! Sending good thoughts