Feeling down
I am pregnant in 14 weeks. I had broken up with the father of the child about a month and half ago. We tried one more time to get back together during this time, but I simply didn't feel like I want him next to me.
I am rather bummed out since then. Entered in sort of depressed mood, not in the mood for any activities, even not caring about work anymore.
The whole relationship was a mess, he was rude with me, starting to insult me and cursed all the time. I also kept on borrowing him lots of money for all kind of problems he had. I feel angry towards him. I got pregnant after only 1 month of relationship, because he refused to use protection. He still wants to get back together but I simply don't trust him, he said so many strange things, like I'd better make an abortion if I choose to raise the child with some other man that won't love the child or that he will beat the crap out of any guy I date. I think he is so immature. He was accusing me that I am cheating him because I decided to keep him on mute to stop being interrupted by his messages at work or when I am not feeling like that talking. He actually was using a phone subscription that I paid and I observed that you can see all the calls from the account, and while we were separated he did call other women, so I find it so hypocrite to blame me for cheating when he's talking with othet women.
At the same time, I hate him and I miss him. This is what baffles me the most. Somehow I have to stay connected with him because he still owes me money, but I think I am vulnerable when I meet him and I am afraid of the bad influence he can have on the child. I considered many times to keep him away from my pregnancy and later on from the child.
What do you think I should do?
No don't ever go with that kind of men you have your own life your child n happiness too .
I think you absolutely made the right call to end things with him, he sounds abusive, controlling and completely terrible to be in a relationship with, as well as incredibly irresponsible. It doesn't sound like he'd make a good father at all, he could really mess a small, developing person up badly with his verbal/emotional abuse and inconsistencies. Attachment and pregnancy can make it hard to cut ties though. It's 100% your choice to keep the child or not, but dating does objectively get harder (albeit not impossible) when there's a child involved, not to mention the child will always serve as some sort of complicated tie to the father. Considering you wanted to use birth control, it does not sound like the child was originally wanted. I want you to feel supported in whichever decision you make, and that there need not be shame if you choose to terminate the pregnancy for sensible reasons. There is also no shame in single parenthood either.