Getting ghosted
Hi all,
I've been seeing a guy for 2 months, we've been on lots of dates, stayed over at eachothers places, been vulnerable. We've not slept together yet but have been physical. He's invited me to gigs that are 2 months away, made date plans and just generally shown all the signs of someone really supportive.
Yesterday I didn't hear from him all day which is odd for us, especially as he wasn't working. Late afternoon he tells me about his day with family he had and all the drama so I thought oh okay makes sense no worries. I told him I was feeling a bit down and asked if we could watch a film over phone call. I got a message back saying I don't want to watch a film but we can call later. I was bit put out by this as there was no empathy or niceness in the message. I texted later saying I was free and I've heard nothing since, no phone call, not seen my messages. And he's put up Instagram stories of the music he's listening to so he's clearly fine.
It's all so confusing because yesterday we talked about a possible date and days beforehand he's inviting me to things and showing me his December schedule for work so I'll know when he's free for dates. And now it's like he's vanished? If he needs some space fine but at least tell me? Communicate? Am I being crazy here for asking for a little more engagement and acting like my feelings are important?
Don't mind a bit of straight talking with this!
Amy
I would give him a bit of space to get back to you. He let you know he had family drama and he might need a bit of time to work through it. And if you're worried that he's pulling away, giving him space is also a good option. If he's really in to you then he'll make a point of reaching out, believe me. Give it a few days, and if you still feel like you're being ignored then let him know how you feel and that it's not cool to just ghost you. But don't waste your time on someone who isn't going to make you a priority. I hope it all works out for you.
I've not heard anything today and I've made sure to give him space. The family drama wasn't big stuff, just stressful day out but I do know he has some ongoing things which he did once say could blow up at any minute. I'm trying to leave it so my next message isn't one of anger and I can approach it calmly. Thank you for the advice!
I don’t think you’re the crazy one especially since you put up a boundary. But I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s very disorienting when something like this happens. I don’t really have any advice, but I empathize.
Thank you for the validation!
@scarletGlobe4646 it sadly happens to all of us I've had it happen but never got to meet up with the guy usually is a lack of some sort of character good luck to you and your future endeavors.
