Help
My bf of 4 years and I live together has for about 6 months now. We've been fighting over porn I found on his phone over a year ago. I would ask him questions about it just out of curiosity. He would sit there and say "they were better" "you're not attractive" "you weren't good enough" "it's all your fault" etc and then would swear up and down that those statements were the truth.
I believed them as the truth as much as they hurt me, I accepted them. We had multiple arguments over it because Everytime I would just ask a question about the past he would get pissed off and defensive and argue.
I've told him the words hurt believing they were the truth. I've cried my self to sleep, and had panic attacks thinking the one I love doesn't love me. He watched me in pain over the words he swore were the truth and didn't do anything.
2 weeks before Christmas he told me everything he made me believe as the truth, everything that hurt me so much was all a lie. So I told him how to try to fix our relationship and he refuses, I don't feel like he cares or loves me anymore, he still gets defensive when I ask questions, he doesnt seem to be apologetic.
All I want is for him to fight for me to stay, to be apologetic over his words and actions, to actually seem like he cares, or he actually loves me. I asked him to apologize, and to love on me and he straight refuses and gets pissy Everytime I ask.
We're currently on a forced break, but I feel like I should just drop any or all hope I have for us to get back together.
Advise?
@intelligentAvocado8214
From what you told, his words and behaviour are indeed hurtful *hugs*
You don't deserve such treatment. Nobody does. Nobody should be made to feel that way in a relationship.
But it needs 2 to tango in a relationship. I hope things will turn out well for you soon 💜
I'm sorry you went through that. It's not healthy in any ways and from and outside perspective it's very disconcerting to hear. But just from what your post says to me is that he is being abusive and I wouldn't want to see anyone go through that. But it's up to you to continue the relationship and if you do I would have set ground rules or some kind of respectful standing that must be followed if it where to continue even after that should tell you exactly what you need to do.