Looking for advice
Hello I been with my partner for 3 years now and we about to get married in 3 weeks but our relationship has been rocky because me. Me(Male 30's) her (Female 30's) both same age. I love her with all my heart she is my heaven on earth. But it's seems like I know how to love and don't at the sametime. I came from a negative background where I saw nothing but that. While she on the other hand has her life more put together than me. I had troubles with alcohol due to both sides of my family are alcoholics this is one of the problems we have I have cut back on my drinking. But other reasons are that I have a lot negativity around me. I almost lost her recently but she willing to give me another try but I can tell she is exhausted and overwhelmed with my negativity which I try not to be. I stuggle with self destructive tendencies at times that I can't control at times, I have battle within myself as negative me and the positive me and she has help me become, and some dark past trauma. I don't want to be another regret in her life, I am looking advice for being a better partner, future husband, future father if we have kids.
@JayNative23
Hello
For dealing with the trauma and negative experiences, it might help to talk with a professional therapist. They can help you find the correct coping mechanisms to regain control over your emotions and thoughts. In the meantime, may I suggest our self help guide https://www.7cups.com/traumatic-experience-help/
@JayNative23 Hello. It sounds like you know what your weaknesses are and are striving to overcome them. There isn't just one way to be a good partner or father, it depends a lot on the circumstances. What matters is that you meet the individual needs of your partner (and in future, children). One way you could tailor your efforts to her specific needs is to ask for her feedback on what you're doing well and what could use improvement. Adding to what 0m shared, these resources may also be of use to you: https://www.7cups.com/alcohol-drug-abuse/ https://www.7cups.com/family-stress/ I hope this helps. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more about this.