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Love vs In Love

User Profile: Bean1234bb
Bean1234bb August 27th, 2022

How do you know if your in love with someone vs having love for them? Is questioning it alone an answer in itself? Especially concerning someone you’ve been with for several years and consider to be like a best friend… I know people say after so many years of being with someone sometimes things can change or feel different, but how do you tell if you’ve fallen out of being in love while still having love for them? It gets confusing trying to sort out what emotions means what… how do you know if your in love with someone else?

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User Profile: innateJoy9602
innateJoy9602 August 28th, 2022

@Bean1234bb

Hello!

What an interesting question.

Love is such a strong emotions.

It comes in SO many forms.

This post made me realize that.

I feel like being in love involves romance, sexual attraction and lust.

Sending hugs<3 💛✨

User Profile: LostTurtle22
LostTurtle22 August 28th, 2022

@Bean1234bb

when you in love, you feel it. the excitement, rush, obsessive thinking, wanting to be with the person all the time, almost hypo-manic. it lasts a couple of months or years and then you slowly transition to the more mature attachment and love that is very satisfying and gives you security and peace. if you're a young person, you may not have a point of reference to judge these things and a crush may feel as love too.

Now, here is the thing, if you come from a dysfunctional family, you may not strongly react to normal people and find them "boring" or no spark or glimmer, while the familiar abnormal types with lots of drama may pull you in strongly.

Good luck!

User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 August 28th, 2022

i think many have confusion about the difference and being in love and the spark and excitement does fade ..........

loving someone (the second phase) may be stable and less electrifying but just IMO that love fades too ..... I think it is ....ok to have basic care and concern love for family etc but in a romantic relationship you need an ember of that spark there and an occasional jolt that reminds you of the in love phase....

When you look at a person you should IMO be able to remember those feelings and smile and if you look at them and do not see that you have a problem.


2 replies
User Profile: LostTurtle22
LostTurtle22 August 29th, 2022

@toughTiger6481

Interesting point on the:

"When you look at a person you should IMO be able to remember those feelings and smile..."

I do still remember the magic of initial meeting and the over the top manic love that followed. i do remember some instances of good s*x. So, I guess I'm still good.

1 reply
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 August 29th, 2022

@LostTurtle22

happy for you .......I cannot remember any good moments ........

being IN love is great and you feel energized and alive..... moments of this are needed and hopefully in long term situations your partner is aware and can help fan the flames every so often to relive these feelings

but long term type love is taken for granted and many do not want to admit it is washing away or fading..... it takes both parties IMO to keep an ember alive......

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