Wanting to make it offical, but he doesn’t yet...
Hello! I have been talking to this guy for over three months now, and we are still in the “talking and getting to know each other” phase. I want to take things to the next level and want to be labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend, but he is really hesitant on doing so.
Here’s some background… I am a 20 year old female, and the guy I am talking to is 25. We both are in college, and we both work. On weekends, however, we both have off days. Once or twice a week we’ll go on dates, and every now and then I’ll go to his place at night. Whenever the weekend is approaching, I ask if he’d like to go on a date to spend some time together, but he’s always busy or just suggests the following week.
In the beginning he was opening to a relationship one day, but I wanted to wait because I had just gotten out of a relationship. He was completely fine with that. I really like him and I know he likes me, he’s even said that he loved me, but I don’t know if right now is the right time for me to say it back, or if I even love him; It feels too soon.
We’ve had talks about making it official and he says that he wants to wait. We have also talked about how busy his schedule is because we rarely even get to go out twice a month—but he is constantly asking me to come over at night. He said he’ll make more time for me but that has yet to happen.
I understand that he gave me the time I needed in the beginning and that I need to do the same, but how are we supposed to get to know each other if he is too busy for dates at least ever other week. I also just don’t understand how he can say that he loves me but doesn’t want to be official.
Recently I have been thinking that maybe he does want to be together, but doesn’t want the responsibility of doing boyfriend things…? I also know that if someone wants to, they'll do it... So if he genuinely wants to make time for me, he will right? (like instead if playing video games, he will try to fit me in his schedule?)
Am I asking for too much or thinking about it too much?
Hello there! Thank you for taking time to write this post. 💜
As you mentioned, you're a 20 years old in the talking stage with a guy of 25 years old that you've known for three months. You're both in college, you both work and have off days on the weekends You want to move it to the next stage which really does make sense, but he's showing hesitation. It sounds like a hard situation for you indeed.🙁
If I got it right, once or twice a week, you used to go on dates and you still go to his place every now and then. That gives me an idea about your closeness so again, I get why you want to move it to the next stage. (: However, he's not very prompt when you ask him for dates on the weekend. I understand that it can get frustrating or saddening when the person you want to spend time with doesn’t seem to available enough. I'm sorry that you're made feel this way.
So, in the beginning he was opening to relationship and you wanted to wait as you had just gotten out of a relationship. I get your necessity for it and it's understandable. (: At that time he was fine with it. You really like him, you know he likes you and he's even declared his love for you. You're not sure if it's right time for you to say it back, it feels too soon. I hear what you're saying, I understand and respect your reservation.😊
You two did talk about making it official and he's saying he wants to wait. You rarely get to go out even twice a month because of his busy schedule which you talked about. It sounds like you've been doing your part of communication well. (: He constantly asks you to go over at his place and though he said he'll make more time, he hasn't yet. I can see how you feel the way you do.🌻
You do understand that you need to give him just like he did to you. But you don't get how you're supposed to get to know each other if he's always so busy. Or why he'd not sant to make it official if he can say he loves you. Your questions are justified and absolutely make sense. I'd have similar questions in that situation!😊
You said you've been thinking that he may just not want the rest of being a boyfriend. Hmm, that's a sensible question too. Another of your thoughts is that if he genuinely wants to make time for you, he'd, because if someone wants to, they will. I see where you're coming from and that's really apprehensible given your situation. Of course, I can't answer these questions for you because I don't know either of you.😊
You're really not asking for too much and what yow've been thinking and feeling makes sense. If I were in that situation, I may think and feel that too. What you're feeling is truly valid.🌸
I pray all this us resolved soon for you. 😊🌷
With love
