What should I do?
This is my first relationship and idk if m in the wrong here but I do try alott and I really wanna keep this going. I push myself. For her sake I have made many compromises and I understand that she's not really in the best condition too. She overthinks alot and ik she won't cheat I trust her and I surely know she'll never cheat but these days we rarely talk cause of our busy schedule and we only get to talk in morning and night. And at night when we can finally talk, in addition she talk to her male friend which o believe are her" male best friends". She stopped starting the convos. I try to start a convo bring up a topic but after a few msgs it finishes and she doesn't even try to start a new topic and goes back to talking to her male friends. We have talked abt this previously and we did yesterday too but she did that again today, that really hurt. I couldn't bear it so i just let myself get some space from her.she repeats the same mistakes over and over. Even after comforting her countless times and giving her so many chances she fails. *** she does try but she fails and just makes the same mistakes again and again. I really wanna continue this relationship I tried approaching her with an honest conversation and it feel like she understood properly but after a little time she repeats it unknowingly. idk if it's worth all the stress and frustration. I repeatedly tell myself to try try and try. Is this not enough? Am I the one at fault? There have been many ups and downs before and we have tried overcoming them but at this point it's just idk it feel like it's not working out. Is it really worth all the stress?Should we take a break or try to solve the problems again?
@honestTiger1943
I get how you would get frustrated when she doesn’t follow through. It takes both sides to make things work in a relationship. I hope you can take some time to reflect on what you want and what will make you happy in the long run. Everyone deserves to feel valued and appreciated in their relationship.💜
For context, I have been a very similar situation that you are in now.
For starters, although she not be cheating on you romantically or sexually, she in a sense is cheating on you emotionally speaking. Of course ups and downs and accur but it is also important to see if this is a repeating phenomenon with her. Is she doing this with her guys friends a lot, and how, when and where. By what you have said, you haven't really done anything wrong. It's your right to be concerned. At this point, you need to put up your boundaries with her talking to her mail friends. I know that may sound overprotective, but it all depends on is your gf talking to her guy friends alone or with ppl, in person or on the phone. Either way, putting up boundaries imo would be the best way to "save" the relationship, because if she really does care about you and likes you that she should respect your boundaries.
I hope everything goes okay for you, and that all works out 😇🙏
Also I know this is very late response but this just showed up in my feed so I'm responding now
@honestTiger1943
It sounds like you are experiencing some frustration and uncertainty in your relationship. It's important to remember that every relationship has its ups and downs, and communication is key to addressing any issues that arise.
It's good that you have tried approaching your partner with an honest conversation about your concerns. However, it seems like the issue is persisting despite your efforts. It's possible that your partner is not aware of the impact her actions are having on you, and it might be helpful to have another conversation to discuss how you feel and to clarify your expectations for the relationship.
Taking a break might also be a viable option if you feel that the stress and frustration is becoming too much. Sometimes a little space can help both parties gain perspective and come back to the relationship with renewed energy and commitment.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or end the relationship is up to you. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and consider whether the stress and frustration is worth the effort to try and resolve the issues. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued and respected.
@honestTiger1943
if she has more to talk to her male friends then you ...... is it a common interest they share that you do not get for example hobby/ classes or workplace items?
if you are both busy and only speak in morning and evening it can become routine of how was your day or talking about weather....it becomes routine and frankly not alot you can make a deep conversation about.......
you said she has "failed" at making some changes That you want ...
What have you done to make changes or find items you want to talk about.........
i have a friend i can talk for hours with............. but my spouse when chatting to text answers "YEP" or other one word responses that makes it clear to me......... my emotional or conversational needs are not important to them........ so if i carry on a friendship with someone i can talk to is that really a deal breaker ?
If so ..................i guess if not in this relationship but the next one or any others YOU might need to find their subjects they want to talk about ....and keep the conversation alive.....