How do you "break-up" with a friend or a friend group?...
How do you "break-up" with a friend or a friend group?...
There are some people I no longer wish to speak to, based on the behaviours they exhibited(ex. Stealing, cheating, stalking, drinking & driving, etc) or have done directly to me (ex. Lied to me, used me for money or to be their entertaining monkey, accusing me of things I'm not, kidnapped me to a place I didn't want to be in, smoking around my kid when there's PLENTY of space elsewhere and I already warn them not to, etc etc)
This friend always says she "misses" me, but I don't feel the same. I've been slowly trying to stay away, but she keeps texting me.
The awkward part is our birthdays are a day apart... and we were going to celebrate it together, but I dont want to. I never celebrate my birthday in the first place.
It just always feels like we do what she wants to do, and I'm hanging out with her friends, who end up being equally as bad.
I feel like I keep ending up with unhealthy friendships and its getting tiring.
I'm planning on working on myself a bit more and not focus on friendship... I'm OK being alone.
Would you ever "ghost" a friend, depending on what they did to you?
I was going to go "ghost", and... I've been ghosted before in friendships/relationships that I've basically became numb/desensitized to it and no longer take it personal, but I heard it's not always the best option...
I had to ghost my abusive ex though as he was a danger to my life, but that was a different situation. However, for this friendship, my life isn't in danger or anything... just debating if I want to draft up a message explaining why or slow fade or... just keep it simple about being busy and not having time anymore to hangout.
I have my own family now... just my son and my partner who came into my life and who I want to get more serious with eventually. We're taking our time, as we've both gone through trauma.
@ImpudentIncognito
If you can speak with her or group about your boundaries you can but if they do not listen Now why would they if you sat them down to talk ....
most friendships i feel anymore just fade away similar to ghosting .... i honestly had someone say things to me that were not true as reason to not keep friendship and i would have rather she just ghosted then make some thing to be offended by.
She did not like posts on a social media site .. i did not make them but my friends did so she says i am guilty of whatever because i did not disown them for their opinion
@toughTiger6481 Hi Tiger, and wow ouch, that's kind of messed up that your former friend cut you off because of another friend's social media post... everyone is free to express their own views/opinions.
Yeah, I think I'd rather just slow fade to eventually ghost. It could be too much to explain why and she can be petty/vindictive sometimes, so rather not deal with that.
The nicest thing I can think of what to say is that my (former) friend and I are going through different phases in life, so I can't hang out much anymore, but it might sound kind of condescending...which is not what I intend to do, but maybe its best I be the bad guy?...
I did "break up" from a situationship and explained why, but the person never read it and still kept talking to me asking to hangout like lol what the heck? I usually try to explain myself for why, but sometimes I have to ghost if its a dangerous situation (ex. My ex fiance almost made me "unalive", and another guy had violent tendencies, which was scary).
@ImpudentIncognito yep! First step block them in everything. Then if they find another way to talk to you tell them to f off😁 you deserve nice friends and good company. Leave the toxic ones behind ❤
I have that friend(and her friends in group chat) on a messenger type of app that I hardly ever use so... I'm thinking of deleting the app lol.
I only used it because I had to switch phone numbers (long story short, I was homeless at some point in my life and constantly moving too, had no money, phone was broken, etc etc....).
She also happen to have my work cell # (which I could block them on...) and my WiFi (VOIP) number, which I may no longer use idk. It was back up since I almost never have a phone#... 😅
I'm just wondering if I should say anything or just go ghost?? She probably doesn't know why I don't want to talk anymore... and she might randomly show up to my door...
For all she knows, I'm going through a tough time and have been busy...
Idk if it would be worth telling her or not, I might make an unnecessary enemy and deal with more *** 💩 lol. I think I might slow fade and eventually block...not sure yet.
Thanks for the advice. Its true, life is too short to be around toxic people. 💙🩵🤍
@Tinywhisper11 Hey, I thought about what you said and honestly, I ended up blocking that friend and her friend.
I also blocked my younger brother.
Long story short, my younger brother is still in contact with someone who was REALLY toxic towards me, and my brother hooked me up with this toxic guy to gain something off the relationship. The guy ended up using me for comfort and money and ghosted me after a year of dating lol. He's a piece of work.
So...yeah.. That's what kind of popped it off for me. Plus, my brother is still being an *** towards women and going down the drinking, partying, and drugs path.
So now... the toxic friends are blocked and I have 2 out of 3 brothers blocked (I come from a dysfunctional household, I tried to make these familial relationships work, but I dont think it ever will).
At this point, I'm totally fine with being alone. Don't need friends, or family. And if my current relationship doesn't work out, that's OK too. I'm used to being alone. It's difficult dealing with people and always compromising on my end...tired. But I do like the people here on 7cups(like you!). 😊
@ImpudentIncognito yaaay! Well done cognito ❤ I'm so proud of you ❤❤ and yeah I don't have A family but if their toxic then yep block em too. Now that's all out the way. You can concentrate on yourself and your needs. And don't worry you will find friends who are worthy of you. Hugggs you ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 Hey! I have a slightly new update. That friend randomly ended up showing at my door step the other day... it was awkward. I was *** off from work, sleep deprived and annoyed from multiple things lol. She checked on me to see if I was OK and I said yeah and basically turnt her awayso I could rest and never texted back... I feel like a jerk, but at the same time, its kind of weird she showed up and idk how to feel about it... should I messaged her and explain things or just leave it alone?...
Its just weird....
@ImpudentIncognito 🤔🤔 I don't know, did she look and seem ok?? But also don't get sucked back in. Do what feels right, but you come first, you always come first remember that. Sometimes the past is better left in the pas t ❤❤