I realize that I have been chasing someone who wasn't interested
Hi:
Over the weekend, a "Friend" had a birthday party but didn't invite me. She was not allowed to invite over a lot of people but that showed me where I stood. All the while, I have repeatedly invited her to my things which she was never able to do. I also felt like I was spending a lot of time bending over backwards for her as well.
Still, I realize that I have been chasing her because I really want a female friend
1. Inviting her to my things
2. Reaching out while they barely reached out to me
3. I also felt like she came around when she wanted something.
It's not nice being taken for granted and I'm glad you recognise you deserve better treatment. Friendships should be equal.
I hope you find people that appreciate how special and inclusive you are to their needs and your own :)
@ScrabbleBrain
Thank you so much. While I am going to allow myself to feel sad and hurt, I am going to focus on being my own friend for a while. All the while, get back into some hobbies that I want to pursue while just saying busy.
In the meantime, I would like to invest my time in the people who have been investing in me.
@Summershy That's good you are open to your feelings and I hope that through taking care of yourself and focusing on what you want, you'll feel better soon.
Time and time again, I wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt, was I being too sensitive but eventually. I thought ahem, we all deserve the basic level of respect and kindness, we should be cherished for being a good friend :)
And like you said, I would rather spend time with people that give me the same time and energy in return, it's a nicer day then.
@ScrabbleBrain
In fact, I was watching that movie "My Best friend's wedding" from the 90's. In one part, Julia's true friend tells her "You're chasing someone but who's chasing you? No one."
@Summershy Aw I love that movie, I was kinda sad they didn't get together or she didn't meet someone else but that's the way it goes sometimes, you get your closure and then you move on :)
@ScrabbleBrain
I used to feel bad but when I went back and watched it last week
1. First of all, she was busy with her own life
2. He called her last minute to use her instead of sending a proper invitation
3. He is a very self-centered man who doesn't even care about Kimmy.
@Summershy I see what you mean, she had her own fulfilment and his career seemed to be the most important thing instead of her personal growth and education
@Summershy
Many have had those situations the sooner we see it and move aways the better IMO
@toughTiger6481
That is true. However, my biggest issue is that I am a woman who is seeking that closeness with other women. Still, I have been chasing them,
@Summershy
I have been in your position too.
I was never included unless they needed or wanted something. yet they expected me to call and keep in touch.
@Summershy
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts when you give your heart to a friendship and they dont even invite you to their party.It feels unfair and lonely. But look, I think life is trying to show you something. Sometimes we try so hard to make someone like us that we forget our own value. When we chase a friendship too hard, we send out an energy of lack. It is like trying to catch a butterfly,the faster you run, the faster it flies away. Sometimes life acts like a strict teacher. Remember those difficult subjects in school? They kept coming back until we finally understood the lesson. This situation is your lesson in boundaries and self-worth. The best friendships in life often happen as beautiful accidents. When you start focusing on your own life, the right people who align with your energy will find you. Try to keep yourself busy with your hobbies,maybe that new thing you have been postponing or something you really love.
You deserve friends who are excited to have you around. Don't settle for less and never lose your hope,there re lots of people in the world waiting to find their friend. :)
@greenleaf98
Thank you for your support. I feel very hurt and angry about what happened and the most painful part is that I wish she and her mom would hear me out. I have some personal things going on in my own life while feeling invisible. When she left me off the guest list, it felt like the last straw. Honestly, I feel like it was the last thing that I needed.
Thinking things through though, it was a onesided friendship across the board. While I would text her, she would never pick up her phone to do the same. Actually, she is a great person, just not that interested.
Hello, Thank you for sharing this with me. It takes a lot of emotional maturity to look at the situation and realize it was a one-sided friendship, even while you are hurting. It’s completely natural to want them to hear you out, but sometimes, trying to explain your pain to people who didn't notice it in the first place just drains your energy. Since you already have personal things going on, please protect your peace right now. You shouldn't have to audition for a place in someone’s life. You see the reality now, and even though it stings, it’s the first step toward making space for people who will truly value you. Hang in there, you are doing great.😊