I selfishly fell in love with my best friend

I'm kind of in a dilemma. I've developed strong feelings for a friend who is newly divorced. We've built a very strong, Very solid friendship and we are immensely emotionally involved with each other.

Our friendship took an unexpected but what felt like a very natural shift to a more... intimate friendship. We are clearly very sexually attracted to each other. We've never had sex, but participate in very private and intimate conversations.

He genuinely cares for me, (he makes it very known), I feel it and I've never doubted that... but he has no intentions of jumping into a relationship and settling down fresh out of a marriage. I know this because I once told him I feel a little more than just friendship, and he agreed that he did also... but he's not ready to be in a relationship. Which I totally understand. So I just took those feelings and put them in a box but obviously, that's not going so well.

Due to us being so close, he frequently calls me to tell me about his tinder dates, his intimate interests and such... and now it's at a point where it hurts my heart. I try to play the best friend by being supportive and cracking jokes, but I'm dying inside.