@reliableMccoping30elon1686
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
Theres a big argument whether two people can stay friends after a break up. (I personally wouldn't accept being friends with an ex if I still have feelings of love and desire for her because it would be complicated to move forward. If you or your ex don't have feelings of love and desire then a friendship may work) I was wondering if we can really be friends with the people we used to love. (It all depends if one or both side have feelings for one another. If you still have feelings for her then are you going to be okay with her talking about a new guy or a boyfriend?) My ex girlfriend and I have long been broken up but until today we kept a civil relationship. When asked, we consider each other as friends. Im just not sure if this is actually a good idea for the both of us. (This is where being friends isn't a good idea because you are second guessing yourself about being a good idea or not, if you want to be friends with then you should 100% in it, if not then you shouldn't be friends with her) Ive tried talking to a top foreign dating coach from this online site and they said it could result to another heartbreak but it can be good too. (It can result in a heartbreak if you have feelings for her and want to re-attract her as a lover, because it's going to be torture for you if she starts talking about other guys) I want to know what others online has to say about this.
@freshLight64 well said..
@reliableMccoping30elon1686
Hello there.
Friendships are extremely important for personal wellbeing. In my opinion, it can be a beautiful thing to stay friends with a former partner. You shared a lot with each other, you know and understand each other well. You probably respect each other a lot and know how to communicate with each other. This is a great foundation for a friendship. However, if both or one of you still has strong feelings for the other one, it might be a good idea to keep a distance for a while?
The fact that you reach out here, shows that you are really aware of the whole situation and try to be mature about it. This is also very important in a situation like this. However, I think nobody can give you an exact answer to your question. Only you and your ex can figure this out together. An open conversation about it is very important. Make it clear for yourself what this person means to you. Also, make it clear what this friendship means to you and share this with your ex. If something feels awkward or painful try to be honest about it. As long as you listen to and respect each other, it can work I think.
Maybe it might be a good idea to also set clear boundaries for your friendship. For example, don't go to that restaurant together where you always had date nights, where you had your first kiss etc.
But again, that is totally up to the two of you.
I hope you will find a way. Wish you all the best
My and my ex are still friends.
It depens on how you broke up
@reliableMccoping30elon1686 Hi. I think it's okay to stay friends with your ex as long as both of you have completely forgiven each other for the past and moved on from it. I don't think that you could be best friends though. Why? Pm me lol.
Is it ok to establish and maintain a friendship with an ex? Id say that is contingent upon a variety of factors, most of which have already even expressed.
My initial thoughts are it would be ‘complicated for a period of time or the duration of the friendship. Every relationship is different & the important factor to consider yourself is how and why that person is now an ex.
I think it really depends on the reason for the break up.
@reliableMccoping30elon1686 I think it can really seriously depend on a lot of factors. I believe all the people I knew well enough to know them all couldn't stay friends with exes. TBF most of these people were back in high school or college so I assume age, emotional maturity, life exprience, etc. all factor into that.
There are many stories where former partners can and do stay friends or eventually become friends after the end, so if it works for the two of you, it works and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. It may be that you two are just better friends than as a romantic couple and that's fine.
@reliableMccoping30elon1686.
. Everyone will have a different opinion on this topic for sure. Some persons have managed to maintain a health friendship with their exs, while for others its impossible.
I think its really up to the two individual and their ability to control their emotions, personally, i tried being friends with my exs but matters just gets worse, so its a no to exs as friends for me.
@reliableMccoping30elon1686,
It very much depends on your feelings.I guess if you still have feelings for her,let's say she decided to end the relationship,it's not a good idea.Listen to your intuition and your body reactions.If you feel tense,jealous,resentful when you interact with her,it ..means you still have not healed from the relationship.If you have some co-dependency issues,remaining friends will trigger them and it will be difficult to heal and .move on.For me,the person who had deep feelings towards the other or is co-dependent finds it difficult to be friends with their ex.And it's not a must,do what's best for you.Why do you actually have to remain friends,who says you must?I have to keep in touch with my son's father,after he cheated on me while still in therelationship,because the kid is a teenager and is giving me a hard time and his father is manipulative and does not make him respect .me,so it's a difficult situation and hurtful situation for me which I cannot avoid right now,bht if there are no childfen involved,there isn't a rule that compels you to be best friends with your ex.Plus,if your ex is narcissistic,she will want to keep you around to get narcissistic supply and will show you how happy she is,maybe boast about a " wonderful new boyfriend "etc Maybe try to hoover you after a while .Because this is what toxic people need you for.Are you sure you want to be part of this?Can you handle it?The best thing for you is to dive into lealning the lessons from this relationship,what issues were there,what led to the breakup etc.Learn as much as possible and move on.It's about progress and personal growth.I heard in a you tube video something I like. very much :"Follow your PEACE and then follow your BLISS!"Precious motto and it's worth sticking to itI,personally don't believe in "remaining best friends after the breakup"!I have an all or nothing attitude towards relationships!Hope this helps,good luck!