Jealous Friends
Hi, my name is Sara, I am 55 years old and have a great life except for my best friend being jealous. We both have summer cottages next to each other, my friend and her husband purchased theirs 10 years before we did. My husband and I just purchased 3 years ago. I consider my friend to be my best friend I thought we would have no issues. She even said to me we are brave living this close even though she was the one who keep asking us to buy next to her. I knew she was the jealous type from how she treated her husband and once on a crew ship she got mad at my husband and I for speaking to another couple at dinner. One night we were out and she had a little too much to drink and started being mean, like high school stuff. I told my husband it was time to go, he went off to say his goodbyes and I headed towards the front door. She came after me and said oh you are just going to leave and I said I dont what to do this here. She proceeded to tell me I did not know the meaning of being a friend and she is the one who introduced me to the cottage community, then it snap, she was angry at this event because I was talking to other people. The next day she came over and apologized to me. The following day I was taking to her on the phone she accused me of telling everyone of our mishap, which I did not but it was her belief. This all happen a year ago and in the mean time she quit drink, she blamed it all on the drinking, I thought things were ok now. We were at community party and I was sitting next to her and she look at me and said why dont you go sit over there with the people you really want to be with. I thought oh, it was not the drinking, I looked at her and said what are you talking about? I let it go but a week later I told her we were have dinner with another friend, she was very upset she was not invited, even though she had been twice at this other persons house for dinner without us. The other friend told me this friend was talking behind my back and just wanted me to be aware. I dont understand all of this, I never spoke behind her back and if anyone did I would speak up for her. What do I do now, I want to keep peace in the community but she has gone too far this time. I feel like Im being bullied all the time by her. What can I say or do, I dont want to sell my cottage, but this high school BS is getting to be too much.
@suebob612
It sounds almost like your friend is insecure about the friendship (among other things) and alternates between fearing that you are abandoning the friendship and proactively pushing you away as a defense mechanism.
The 7 Cups Bullying Guide has some insight and suggestions on how to deal with this.
Lesson 3 - 5 gives some actionable steps on what you can do. Not all will apply but some of it will!
Let me know if you have any questions!
Don't know what to do about it, I tried taking to her and she said she wants to work it out and the next day she all over me about something else. She makes sure no one else is around including our husbands. If I just hang with her not talk to anyone else she is fine. She will say some things in front of other people, like I said I read that book and she will say she did not read it she listen to it in her car, little things like that it crazy.
You might also try asking on Quora and see if anyone there can give you advice on bullying from friends! :)