Looking out for a friend
Over the weekend, I happened to catch up with someone who I took a break from. While she and I had a great time, I noticed a few things going on between her and someone who I thought was her best friend.
- While I did not attend her 30th birthday, her "Best friend" didn't attend, even though he was invited. Instead, he went to a housewarming party, which I also attended
- Meanwhile only two of my best friends were there for her.
- One of those best friends also had his birthday one week after her birthday and this "Best friend" and his circle seem to make time for his event
- When I caught up with my friend, she didn't mention anything about being hurt about her birthday. Instead, she said that she does always have time for his events. She also said that she wants to go from being his best friend to a more casual friend. When were were talking, she seemed to note that
- He's controlling
- He lacks empathy
- He can't seem to read the room and can't seem to understand when certain things are inappropriate.
- I told her that he tends to create drama and gave me one of those sighing "Yeah"
While she didn't open up about how hurt she feels, I know she is because said no on my friend's birthday invite. Yet, when my friend, who attended her birthday, had a get together at his place, she came.
@Summershy
You are a good friend 💚
Sometimes, all we can do is honestly tell a friend what we feel and it's then up to them what they do with that information 🥰
@Amanda84
I wrote a typo- She said that she doesn't always have time to attend everyone of her former best friend's socials.
@Amanda84
It get the feeling that she feels very hurt but doesn't want to admit it at this time. Still, I hear her telling me that she wants to protect her peace.
@Summershy
*Correction- she said that she doesn't have time to attend every single one of their events.
@Summershy It sounds like she is definitely hurting, even if she isn't saying it directly. Her decision to distance herself is a healthy way to protect her peace after being let down on her birthday. She seems to be recognizing the imbalance in the friendship and is finally prioritizing her own well-being over his. It is a tough realization, but it shows she is gaining clarity on his behavior. Are you hoping to support her through this transition in their friendship?
@Lyra101
Yes I am but I want her to open up first. In the meantime, she is at the stage where she wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. In addition, he's always autistic too
@Summershy
hi, thank you so much for sharing - You are a very good and caring friend ❤️❤️ i really understand where you're coming from and friendships can be so complicated. Sometimes, all we can do is to honestly tell a friend how we feel deep down and then really it's in that person's control how they respond and react.
- @ArtisticAngel99
Well yeah because she looked out for me with this group of people last year. She told me that he was not really there for me either. We also agreed that the group he hangs with her just not good friends either.